weird void hovering over me
making me feel…..
oh like i need to get warm
heatseeking need
need for something i dont know
missing from my equation
some element or ingredient
an additive maybe
i slurp down some muscat grape juice
ooh i musta needed that
oh that runs easy over my olde tired throat
its the autumn of my life
im confused
im still not acting my age
im all contracted
in the wrong way
jumpy and frail
the sun sinks below the sydney skyline
melancholia arrives
the palms move in the wind outside
i listen to yellow6/portal
i will indulge melancholia
i drift and weave in and out of daydreams
and blurry reveries too fragile to be remembered
the music creates and illustrates my voyage
i leave this autumnal room
and go where?
the children natter somewhere in the darkening house
i hear the baby call from miles away
where is this place i go
where sleep and drugs and tiredness and music take me
my private formless realm
where nothing can hurt me
an easy warm place
summer version
some aversion to coming back
a mellifluous whirlpool of thought
a still plain stretching to a far off horizon
it all makes sense here
i know all the answers but it doesnt surprise me
everything is ok just like vishnu said to me in my heart of hearts
none of it matters
nothing to get hung about
pleasant land somewhere inside me
wish i could paint it
wish i could sing it
when im there
all this struggle out here seems so unnecessary
all this blah blah blah blah bloody blah
the bombardment of info
the free trial offers
the pamphlets and tickets and receipts and bills and guarantees
why did we have to have all that?
how do those dolphins get by without traffic lights and schedules
can bears get angry if the internet is slow
do swans miss toasters and poly urethane insulation
do ants wish they could text each other
you see
i just dont believe this is the best we coulda had it
somethings gone wrong when guns are legal n pot is banned
when willy robbiams sells a billion records n i sell 18
when the heat is on but the trails gone cold
and the tail wags the dog star
but anyway
back inside my haze
where i swim languidly thru the thoughts
hard and soft
remember that
hard and soft
straddling the contradictions
being 2 places at once
making it up outta thin air
playing on as the ship goes down
there will be others
you dont meet em everyday
but theyre out there
good at that thing we crave
saying for us what we didnt think we could say
making us feel not alone
but always failing
but always trying
over and over
with paint or strings or movement or theorem
with good intentions
with open arms
with an eye to the weird void
still hanging over me