it said dont do it
but i did it
i did it for the hundreth time
accidentally
but i did it
what did i expect?
it was ok the othertimes
perhaps they were just being overly cautious
when they said dont do it!
hey steven says grant
what part of dont do it do you understand
dddont dddo it!
anyway
but i did it
i unplugged my pod from the lap top
before it said i could or should
guess what
i killed my baby
i shot my poddy dad
i erased her mind
i blew her cool
now shes empty
my laptop dont even know her name
nothing inside her
full of emptiness
deep sadness comes over me
move on! orders dr polinski
you gotta move on….
but but but
one ray of light
ricki myarmoury
that famed utility player
that guitar slingin’ hippy shaking beatnik
he can help me restock my poor empty one
but some stuff
oh dear
that was it
one offs n lost cds
gone forever magnetic heaven
magnetic field mice trapped in oblivion
today i am cold shut down in disbelief
my ear problems re-turned
cant swim
the kids going crazy
eg
i take scarlet kilbey out for a walk
she wont walk
like an obstinate mule
in the blistering sun
arguing the bleedin’ toss with a 2 year old
you think its funny
but
it ent
*
weather is hot
i feel blasted
powerless literally
nonetheless i percy-vere with yoga
my only saving grace
which almost cancels my other bad habits
but
not quite
fans blow in the house
cockroaches abound
flies buzz around and i swat at em
with my red australia shaped flysquatter
fuck em!
i love that feeling when you connect a good backhand
that ever so slight sound
as the fly gets knocked into its next incarnation
hey knucklehead
yeah you
you can ‘ave a fuckin’ go at me now
you know hypocritical bastard n all that
oh?
you didnt think vegos could swat flies and crush cockroaches?
well this one does!
or dont come in my house!
*
something is missing in me
my compassion…or something
i feel quite angry and restless and unfulfilled
i feel like i dont wanna hear loud noises
or be jerked around
im not hungry
or am i nauseous
should i be worried about my hallucinations
and the blood freely flowing from my hands
i am not crazed but im glazed over n underglass
sod off with yer happy gnu year
spare me your platitudes
no year is ever happy
time curdles in my eyes
and my paintings melt in arctic darknesses
that suddenly appear where my music was
i pound the plane
bound in one single chain
a killer and a heretic
yeah thats right
i think evolution is baloney
so is the war
any fuckin’ war
i think the “straights” are winning if not one
i think painkiller will increase the pain
i think im unbelevably handsome
until i look in the mirror
hey its not fair!
i know im 53 but…….
i believe in hindu gods
who whisper nectar-like
if your heart can ever still its noise
i believe that anyone who says
such n such happened 25 million years ago
is
guessing
i believe life is studded with dilemmas for us to solve
some have no right choice
a choice of agony
or addicted to painkiller
i believe its too late to ask
and i believe its too early to tell
im a smart little monkey with the words
aint i?
if i met myself somewhere
i’d probably punch myself in the doppelganger
im sick of myself
sick of my sick mind
minding my sickness
hobble bubble hippy dribble
toil and trouble
struggle time being
struggle in your delusory webbing and net
i contradict myself
outside myself
up myself
beyond myself
ego screams and screams and screams
quoting my words to myself
listening to songs i couldnt write
i churn out a series of souless seances
i learn a new language
i appropriate funds
i gamble and i gambol
i fleece em
but they skin me alive
i am angry with you
yes you
you know who you are
so so so so so
angry
with you
burning in my hot pitta temper
my mind like the sahara
with no compassion
no oasis of patience
no time for anyone
stop prodding me through my cage
take your implant out of my eyes
let my planet walk away unharmed
kill bush
kill whalers
kill killers
kill time being
kill anyone who disagrees
arrange the executions
execute the arrangements
i painted myself into a corner
i sung myself to a standstill
i gave n gave
i took n took
i lied to you in all honesty
i stabbed you in my imagination
i dived into the peeling back waters
i’m too big for you
its gonna hurt
didnt i warn you?
the children fight and laugh and fall out the windows
my car exploded and blew off my head
and my head gasket
i only have 3 eyes now
i am a reptilian devil dressed up as an olde hippy
i am the strangler of the deep
i am the masked foot of oblivion
i am the kiss of the marsh
i am a sinker
i am a hook
i am vicious bird attacking your back
i hurl insults at the dead flies
i cook my headless mind in a broth of ignorance
people chase me down my street
horrified by my ugliness
they string me up an pelt me with confederate money
voices next door
someone moaning and screaming
infuriated i go over there
and i burn the place down
i rob a river bank and send a duck bill
i writhe in my stupid impotence
i boil my existences
i audition for hell and i got the job
im tired of messin’ with ya
dont make me kill you again
i terrorize rockpools with my agent orange
i demonize satan
i impose on this universe
i crush and crash
i lash and bash
i am everything
you never thought
how good is that?