return of the prodigal being
finding it hard to take a trick
the universe tells me i’m off course in many little ways
ears ring on n on
but i keep listening to loud music
ive blown 3 sets of ipod headphones…
lungs getting bad
must stop smoking
its no good
i need a long rest
everythings driving me crazy
everybodies got suggestions i cant follow
i can paint n write stuff but i cant organise anything
have a sad sunday breakfast today
i made pears
everyone comes over one last time
elli seems angry with me all the while
i have that effect on people
i’m aware that it happens but powerless to stop it
pushing 54 and looking it
new lines appear on my face
wait theres been a mistake
i was s’posed to remain at 18 forever
my kids all do the opposite of what i expect
im too weak with them
then suddenly too harsh
i say the wrong things and upset them
i still speak before i think
been doing a lot of yoga to counteract drugs and age
i feel very flexible and i certainly have a spring in my step
i go up n down
today i suddenly felt that bondi wasnt my home
and that i hardly knew my family
like i’d been set down in the wrong story
my street seemed sandy and alien
the trees were not the ones i thought i was familiar with
the houses seemed bereft of life
the weather was blue and bleak
the sun had no warmth yet it burnt
i sat on my porch
some of my plants are dying but i dont know why
it seems like ive let it all slip through my hands
my time my youth my golden days
ah sweet autumn of my life
moving into winter
still with my youthful preoccupations
peter pot and pan
i went to a party but didnt stay long
peoples voices hurt my ears when they yell
all my jokes fell flat
i cant concentrate when people talk to me
i saw clyde bramley
reg mombassa
lindy morrison
amanda brown
dave mason
david lane
and quite a few others
i nibbled at cookies and had some hummus
nk n i shared one corona
the doodles go through a noisy period
lots of fighting and yelling plus scarlet squealing
need a holiday
havent gotten away now for so long
but cant afford to fly anywhere
and everyone cept me gets carsick
so…..
i long for some peaceful meadow ive never seen
thoroughly sick and tired of me
all my cock-ups n my checkered past
struggle to paint
struggle to swim
struggle to believe
my deafness plus my dopiness is making me into
an archetypal fool
i cant hear the stuff that people mutter anymore
the stuff that makes em all snigger snicker
a thousand and one gigs still playing in my screaming ears
now arent you glad you waited two days to read this?