the residue of my long life settling
full of envy full of woe
trying to escape ourself
people hammer on my soft skin
demanding loyalties or royalties
the harbour still treats me as a stranger
the streets mislead me still
the signs ignore me
i run to my old house
i cant find it through my vale of tears
and the tears tore
and inside were globes which contained scenes
in each scene i saw…..oh!
richman
poorman
beggarman
steve
steve what happened to your eyes
steve what happened to your ears
steve what happened to your years
its a long story….
but i will try to
the word never comes
i am pushed into a cell with criminals
what are you in for i say?
murder!
arson!
treason!
and you ….?……they ask
i stared down at my hand
a joker (no one laughing)
king of (night)clubs
jack of (paste) diamonds
7 of (broken) hearts
and a white knight
i looked up at my new friends
self obsession i confessed
they moaned as one
and hid in the corners of the jail
monster screamed the murderer
my father comes to collect me
he still smells of old spice and a faint tobacco tinge
we drive home in silence
the red tail lights go on and on
as we drive past the steelworks
youve bloody shown me up steven …my father says
i squirm in my seat
nothing ever makes me sadder than letting him down
through more tears the black night and red tail lights blur
port kembla goes by and out of memory
my father scrolls through the dial on the radio
dusty springfield sings
i just dont know what to do with myself
a beautiful and melancholic song
the french horns seem to blow from a lovelorn wilderness
the strings seem to weep as they play out their lines
dusty sings
just waiting for you…i dont know what else to do
i can see her there
broken hearted and lonely
in a darkened room
the telephone which never rings
a light flashes in the rain somewhere
unfeeling cars zoom through the wet streets
cars that reached their destination 40 years ago
everything that happens in the singers world is past
love affairs all over
no morning no light
she waits so patiently on your song
we know her lover will never come back
we see it all…
we?
but who is we?
i look around and see no one seems to share my great vantage point
its just me on my own
with my little complex of sub-mes
seeing future present and past
future: too late
past :too early
present: how soon is soon?
everyone gets tired of me and walks away
as they disappear
i remember the important thing i had to say
but by the time i proclaim my new axiom
all out of earshot
are you out of earshot? asked a salesman
offering me a selection of the very finest
i peered down at the tiny jars that stood on the shelves
earshot original recipe
earshot with vanilla wisps
eyeshot blodshot and red
knuckledust with ghost macadamia
treeflesh kosher
elbow grease with velvetesse
song fragments with poignant lyric chips
oil of a lark sky
message from a deadfriend
morning sap
as i was thinking about which i could most seriously use
kathy woke up in the back seat
where are we now dad? she asked
oh ho ho youve been asleep a long way, little girl ..dad said
dad is that the thirroul pool ?she asked
dad laughed and changed the dial on the radio
bits and pieces of news and sport and classical go on n off
dad keeps tuning till he finds some proper music
the beatles come on
oh dad listen its the beatles! kathy squeals with delight
theyre as good as beethoven she says
dad smiles and turns it up
gee this is a good song he says
we all feel like part of something new
the beatles have come along
and the whole world is laughing with relief
everyone loves their songs
and then….
trouble brews on their horizon
i dont like that woman though says dad
thats not yet dad says kathy from behind him
shes stroking dads hair which so nicely sits against his neck
dads got side burns and a sea lion mustache
i dont know why they have to be weird he grumbles
mclennon has gone solo
i put a tape of it in the player
titanic gardens spread out in a dream …he sings
…everything for my haze
baby did a sad sad thing
ive been gone for days and days and..
thats a mellotron says kathy
i like that other song better says dad
the one about the sea lion
sealine? i say
no he means
all you ever needed was love
kathy starts to sing
everytime you come and go
whenever you forget you really know
all you ever needed was love..
dad and i whistle the french anthem bit
ha ha ha we all laugh
by now a blue had impinged on the black
day was coming
they dropped me off at home
i walked wearily up the drive
little stones and sandy soil
palm trees and weeds
concrete and an old broken hose
bits of paper and honeysuckle vines
i put my guitar case down
and stumble through the door
its tuesday
the morning has come
my arms ache
my throat is sore
my my
oh my