this incredibly bizarre world
this mixed up ball of confusion
humanity……?!
what hope is there but rocknroll….?
sanity will not prevail …..no
we will all disappear so it must be ok, right?
steve kilbey has gone mad n abdicated
ive been left in charge here till he returns
but i’m a clever counterfeiter
so maybe you wont notice anything
maybe i’ll slip up
in my world
a bunch of hindu indians
trying to find a passage to italy
(you see they were hooked on gnocchi)
accidentally arrived in america
and in a naive hopeful stupid way
began calling the natives there
” italians”
(though there was no cafes anywhere)
so nowadays in my world
if someone says oh the italians did such n such
you ask
the italian italians or the american italians…?
although you should no longer use the word italian
to describe an american italian
we now call them the lasagne peoples
although they themselves prefer the term
the original occupants…
in my world ….
ah it sounds ridiculous
my world this
my world that
by the way are you enjoying my impersonation
of your erstwhile idle idol…?
olde kilb-eye
a classic case of the jumbles
hes madder than you think
madder than a lake
(thats an art joke for the ohions)
you mean youre paying him to write this bilge?
i mean this counterfeit bilge naturally
i mean i cant be kilbey
because he is mad
and i am not
am not am not am knot
why did you do it?
i wanted to
what did he do?
everything
what will he do next?
everything else
a mad olde fool
a classic mad olde foole with a beard
much lavish self description
an egocentricity bordering on the futile
or infantile
or some other flashy word which means something vague
kilbey got you out-manoeuvred with vocabulary
only nick cave-in knows more words
and maybe someone else
but kilbey can trot out words like fulcrum
which he juxtaposes with some unlikely word… say love
then uses a strange pre position
and you get
(french exclamation!)
voila
fulcrum beyond love
or
love within fulcrum
or
love fulcrum without
can you see how this is done?
now if i told you my new solo album
was called love fulcrum without (and it is)….
in my world painkiller has gone platynum
it was heralded as a true work of genius
and outbound was played at the olimpic games
a lasagne from america won 4 golde oscars n a silver roger
a bohemian yodeller took out the big prize
a week at the crouton institute in maine
and a drawer in the next australian cabinet
now do you think kilbey would write something like that?
are you sensing the difference between us now?
in my world i drive a panther x-type that runs on steam
the steam has anti-ageing properties (with ocean glimpses)
my car has bucket seats in spades
it has a white diamond dispenser (di spencer?)
it has a octophonic sound system that pacifies yer quivering cilia
it has talking ashtrays and touch responsive manny folds
baybee my car can reach the middle ages in no time flat
and some time hilly
and summertime when the livin’ is so e-z
and yer mamas rich
n yer daddys good lookin
n yer lookin’ for a place to spend the nite
in my world the wag from sheffield is funny
and sheffield is on the sea with palm trees n bikini clad buildings
whilst bondi is a grey blur of railroads n cups of chip butties
in my world davem is lead bass guitarist in $%#
and they just won the mercury prize and the mont de venus
and the sheffield auxiliary wag flower committee award
and the smiths formed in 1982 after seeing the leadmill play at
the church
until johnny marred ’em
that helped maurice see
then their biggest album
the queen is murder( went to numb her juan)
in my world bobo n the hedge are roadies for john foxx
who just sold out wimbledom
and michael stype is a clerical assistant
and peter buck is a kind of deflation
that causes yoghurt to fly around on airoplains
and robbie williams is hedging prunes
my world this
my world that
where paintings paint people
where music is seen under a certain light
where a faux kilbey can be finally ‘appy
where andrew eldritch is on the 100 dollar notes
where andre breton coaches the metaphysics kids on tuesdays
where elton john works in a pie shop selling puddings
and george michael designs urinals
(please dont throw your cigarettes in here: they become soggy
and hard to light!)
and the cinemas and galleries and bars and museums are
stuffed full of ME!!!!
me everywhere
my conversations
my anxieties
my triumphs
my wag
my eek
my comments
my internet
my oh my
yes the future is ME!!!
so get ready now
me me me
buy some try some cry some hand some
we’re all gonna rock to the rules that i make
sang vincent furnier
but i dont see much rockin’ on the golf war…
the kids are wolfing down popol vuh
and have you tried fruity rings yet?
try ME!!@blogspot.burp
check out my prod-caste (the lazy debils)
hook me up with grating new fruity ring tones
and win a price in the blottery
kilbey now available in olive gream
post no bills
star f only
no blog beyond this point

f