now its 7.33
i sit in my cluttered spare oom
the one fulla paints n pastels n bits of paper
i am behind on so many things
unanswered e-messages
i cant keep up
i dont wanna keep up
i’m being bombarded with info
spread sheets
call sheets
scripts
plans
introductions
instructions
contracts
files
articles
photos
videos
songs
how could i possibly keep up with it all
one guy writes to me
says he wants to have a correspondence with me..
who does he think i am….robert browning?
marty rings up
can you answer some questions for zillo magazine in germany
oh god if i have to….
i still havent written my article on songwriting
(you think itd be easy but not with punctuation
and bloody capitals
i write how i think
my brain hands down my thoughts
unpunctuated)

still the modern man is under attack from the outside world
everyone can contact ya these days
and then ya fall behind and feel permanently rude
while i was in hospital n after
a week of emails congealed somewhere in the past
i try to get at em
but todays demand my attention
with their exclamation marks in red
and their throbbing attachments
bursting with new bytes of info n disinfo n misinfo
that my groaning brain has to deal with
some of its really important stuff too
important to me to try n remain in this rat race
but i know the rats are all running little faster this year
as i get older n older
some people viewing me like a heritage building
and thats amusing to the eternal outsider like me
i’m happy to be a heritage building
as long as you pay when you enter
but i aint being a heritage building for free
i didnt want a legacy
i wanted to rock, you know
i still do
and standing somewhere solemnly singing utmw
bores the tight black pants off me
i’m into the present you understand
i like what i’m doing now
but i gotta keep moving on
i cant stop n ponder some olde thing
unless i choose to do so here
in the safe warm nostalgia of my own
when i’ll uncover my past gently for you
look
a memory here
a memory there
an anecdote about ploogy
of course
its all part of the service here at TTB
you’ll get all of that n more
when you subscribe for one year
(you’ll probably get it if you dont)
but i resent the constant implication
“your best work is behind you”
in this age of nonentity
cant the hoi polloi grok a driven man like me
and understand that i dont give a flying fig
about utmw and its spot in a poll
yeah…whats that gotta do with the act of creation
or as marco boleyn asks on beltane walk
“but could it gimme love gimme love
gimme little love from gods heart?”
and if the answer is ever no
then one should
as far as possible
decline
so
ok
i got all this work to do
why dont i do it?
laziness
becoming distracted
procrastination
lacking any backbone
lacking any application or structure
i prefer painting to all else
i feel like i’m working but its pleasant
unlike the computer which is unpleasant n unnatural
unlike the tap tap tap to write this rant
yesterday we found some rollerblades someone had left out
they fit the doodles perfectly
and auroras been clomping around in em all morning
must sound like hell down below
she paints a picture
of a plane flying over a rainbow
and the planes saying
save our world!
autumn is in the air
my exhibition in pittsburgh looms n looms
youd be mad not to go
youd be madder not to buy a painting
youd be so happy if you did
and so would i
very happy
indeed
i feel like ive yet to give you yer moneys worth today
but at least you got the warm cosy feeling, right
not necessarily the same thing
the time being is the great differentiator
sorting thru things so you dont have to
writing songs that explain your life somehow
in some lovely way only you can understand
yes im a heritage building
yes i’m a panther on tv
yes i’m a flesh n blood geezer struggling to keep up
yes i’m the reincarnation of your favourite olden daze king
yes i play a mean bass in my mofu mansuit
yes i paint n i sing n i compose n i conspire
yes mister i do it all while you watch
and marvel at such a fine fine mind…its one of a kind
chuck a fucken ducat in my e-hat then
buy my latest output
i gotta loada new songs n paintings waiting in the wings
i would like to salute mr jt n mr dr
who soldier on for me regardless
offering their inestimable services to the t. being
to enable me to cope with a mechanistic outside
that threatens to devour an aspie-like naive ninny like me
i am humbled by their help
i am deeply appreciative to my contributors/subscribers
other long haul geezers like klk and kn
to all of you i owe the best i can manage
and so i strive
a lady named hj
also has enabled my visual art to survive
and inspired me with her across the board dedication
and the constant supply of truly groovy art supplies
yes all my contributors
some solidly donating small amounts
some occasionally contributing large amounts
the very generous and the slightly stingy
the ones who cant contribute at all
the ones who enjoy it with their coffee
sometimes
sometimes
its overwhelming
without this internet thing
where would i be…?
i wouldnt know anything about any of you
and i’m sure
i would have fallen into despair