jesus
i get up early
at the break of day
its warm and its drizzling
i pull on a mansuit from the wardrobe
i sit in my room
and i begin to type
god
the bible is such rubbish
who cares what the fucking chaldeans did?
this is the book that has guided western civ all this time?
a book of vengeance n tribalism n retribution
a vengeful jealous god who picks sides n changes his mind
a bunch of israelites running about
seizing this land n losing that
plenty of murder rape incest holocausts
gee jehovah
nice little world you created
no wonder countries go insane trying to follow it
the holy bible…wheres the holiness in killing everybody?
the book is complicated boring irrelevant ancient tripe
occasionally poetic
occasionally exciting
more than occasionally derivative (gilgamesh should sue!!)
occasionally inspiring
but mostly a catalog of the israelites triumphs n woes
some desert tribe a long time ago
doing n being done to…
yeah yeah
but somehow
when i was a child
and much more so
even before i was born
we were raised to believe that this was somehow OUR struggle
that the israelites really were gods chosen people
cos they put together some book of twaddle that tells us they are
WELL THEY CERTAINLY NEVER FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!!
proving to be as bloodthirsty n barbaric as all the rest
except they gotta new god who tells em its ok to do it
sometimes he orders the slaughters
men women children animals he says
n i’ll sort em out
we saw movies about moses n company
which were frightening horrendous inexplicable bursts of violence
who could ever fucking understand jehovah?
n who’d want to….?
jehovah nags moses
and moses nags the israelites
and the israelites
merrily fuck up and get fucked n fuck over the locals
they just turn up n requisition all yer milk n honey
ya see its ok if jehovahs on yer side
and this thinking has been employed by us westerners
particularly those speaking english n spanish n portugese
we done done a lotta harm in ole jehovahs name
blah blah blah
anyway it was inculcated into us
that the israelites tent god was our god
and that the israelites book of tribal laws n murder
was our “good” book too
WHERES THE FRICKIN’ GOODNESS IN IT???
go on pick it up
flick to any page other than the gospels n find some goodness
i dare ya!
but somehow we kinda believed that all this israelite stuff was important
and all their malarky had crept into our “culture”
with semi-holy connotations
eg some folksinger singing let my people go
or river jordan is chilly n wide ..hallelujah…
or by the rivers of babylon…..when we remember zion
etc etc
but what did it have to do with us?
and then
for a brief moment
the holy bible is illuminated by jesus
who does n says the very opposite of jehovah
whose s’posed to be his actual daddy
jehovah is wrathful n murderous
jesus is cool n kind
FORGIVE EM! he says
showing more fucking sense in his four gospels
than the rest of the bible all put together
but after the gospels
its back to fire n brimstone n apocalypso
when former murderer saul becomes paul
n takes up jesus’ cause
(with himself as the star prosecutor!!)
finally johnny somebody goes to a greek island
has too much of good time
and has a “vision” in a cave
of the horrible awful burning screaming rotten end of the world
complete with dragons, giant whores and angels blowing trumpets
(how quaint!)
how very jehovah
to create a such a wonderful ending for us
we all burn
except the ones who “believed”
what the fuck does that mean?
and isnt that a flimsy premise to burn us forever?
cos we didnae “believe”?
anyway
even poor old jesus c had to die in a spectacular grisly way
(and that was the plan?!)
jesus its a sorry story
most kids today dont have a clue what its all about
and theyre better off
no one i knew at any of my schools understood christianity
they paid lipservice to it
but no one understood it
or researched it
or challenged it seriously
sure there were atheistic kids
but no one ever really wondered what this book
this book we swear on n live n die by is all about
you should have a look
it will astound you
the utterly irrelevant nonsense of the measurements of this n that..
cubits,anyone?
the nastiness n sheer imperialism of the izzies
the capriciousness n sheer stupidity of jehovah
the loveliness of christ
the barbaric world they all lived in
the superstitious bullshit
that the preachers tried to ram down our throats
its all there
the bits nicky cave re-appropriated
the bits that bobby dylan nicked
all the misery n backstabbing n psalms
theres even a brief erotic interlude
so king solomon can write some naughty verse for sheba
poking his key thru the hole in her door
(ooohh mr humphreys!!!)
go on
read this book
its got sex n lust n murder n mayhem
what a story
what a joke
what an albatross to hang round our fucking necks
for 2000 years
jehovah?
dont make me laugh!