nk pops out to a bar for some drinks with friends
she comes home with a bottle of bubbly
(plus)
would you like some darling i ask
yes please she says
i pull off the wrapper on the cork
you know
the aluminium white wrapper
then the cork has this bit of wire
i undo the wire and i walk to the back door
the last cork went sailing over the back fences
i love to hear it land in the dark out there
and i dont wanna wake up the sleeping kids
suddenly
BANG!
THE FUCKING CORK EXPLODES UP OUTTA THE BOTTLE
AND STRAIGHT INTO MY RIGHT EYE!!
i see a white explosion behind my eye
and i reel from the pain n shock
it got me in the eye i keep saying to nk
i sag down in the sofa
why? i keep asking
why? why?
n my eye is a swollen bloody closed up thing
gee i look real rough
i look real nasty
just when you think you have things going so smoothly
the missus the booze (the plus)
then
things blow up in yer face
literally
if it had been one of those corks with the metal tops
i’d be doing the tour as fucking long john silver with an eye patch
and this eye was already swollen from my bike accident in 1967
and now its gonna look real weird
oooh i hope it changes colour like bowies did
imagine me
one greyblue eye
one hazel alien eye
anyway
did me nearly blowing my eyeball out
stop our celebrations of saturday night?
nope