oh the future aches in our bones
every cloud is a sign
every bird sings its song to you
magic exists secretively
you used up your spells
i used up my wishes
i call up my father who lives on within me
i feel him smile in deep memory
again its morning
again its night
again its again
rush towards moment
my angel herself appears
of course i cannot see her
i cannot say her name or bear to think of it
i only hear a voice
i hear whisper in dark corner
a hymn she sings as a hiss
a cold and old voice
she says my name
not this name
my other name
my spirit name
my intrinsic atoms that have always being
good deeds evil deeds
YOU ……never learn ! angel hisses
ok then
i remember the devil and his abode
not fire and brimstone but quiet luxury
a handsome devil
his laugh is really quite endearing
you could get to like him easily
he listened to great music
urgent and simple yet unpredictably strange
infernal fugue
a corruption of the angelic tongue
the words are exultant
good isnt it? he says
he sings along :
heaven is what you make it
god can dish it out
but he cant fucking take it……
my hands are numb
i’m very very cold
lowered down down down
someone crying
someone laughing
inside i still alive
let me out get me out i blubber silently
sudden freedom
my skull empties me out
i briefly struggle in the narrowest stricture
the devil sits in his elegant chair
i’m not THE devil he says in english
oh i have never heard english pronounced this way
its simply beautiful
heaven is closed for renovations jokes a demon
your widows dancing on your grave says another smirking
youre dead unlucky chimes in a third
the devil tells them to shush
better call in angel he croons
as soon as said as done
angel naked winged blazing dimly
angel what are you?
i am terrible love
then quickly
no more devil
the night is over
a nauseating elongation of distance
angel is in crystal
i hold the orb in my hands
i see her hidden in the folds and shards within it
am i still dead i foolishly ask after she is gone
i still hear her voice
never dead
never alive