• y

i exist in spades

my twisted convoluted story  is a thing of strange wonder

i am multiples surely thats much is obvious

i really am you and you really are he or she

cliche it may be

me? who me tonight?

i move in diagonals along energy meridians

buried deep in my cortex

my face is designed to appeal to you

my voice is talking in your ear

my hands release the brake

i kill i give life i die i have a piss

no limits tonight the house accepts any bet

the wheel spins the numbers rotate the balls tingle in anticipation

i lost my shirt :  i guess they werent bluffing

steve….?

a voice outta the crowd

oh no not the freaking voices trip again

nevertheless a voice in or outta the crowd says steve…?

i peer into the gloom of my mind where the crowd must be

fuck yes its crowded in there

trams and pedestrians crossing

men n women girls n boys

the living n the dead

everynight some escape onto these pages you read

yes you are me etc

cosmic ? fuck yes

stupid ?  uh huh

anyway i looking for that voice saying my name

steve ….?

the night is wearing thin

a handshake

its a person i dont recognise

steve….!

i snap to

its andrew andrews my boss from last nights blog

i felt dismayed that his character hasnt been explored more

so here he is back again tonight

i guess something about a guy called andrew andrews tickled my fancy

not as if i couldnt have thought of any other silly name like that

charlie charles

mick nicks

i dunno

anyway andrews is a rude bastard

he’s no longer my boss tho

tonight i’m playing myself in this saggy saga

steve…?! the rude bastard says again

he comes up n shouts something in my ear

its deafening

BLACK THIRTEEN!

what?  i mouth back

BLACK THIRTEEN ! he bawls in my ear

he indicates the spinning wheels at the tables

he urges me to put it all on that number

hang on ….hang on…all what….?

whatever you got …..andrews says  over the other voices

i take out my mastercard

i got 1700 bucks on the card i know i just checked it

i chuck it on with my remaining chips

the wheels spin again

red 26…. fuck it ! i lose !

andrews shrugs

sorry he says as i walk off

outside its nevada the badlands

i’m penniless now

i cant afford to be in this story

its night its cold its the badlands

i turn the page and i’m in fucking tahiti

i’m loaded i’m young

i’m surrounded by luxury

mr andrew andrews ha!

see if i care

i summon up a vegan platter of fresh veggies n various dipping sauces

its all going on here

hey i’ll even chuck in a bit of poetry

the quick brown fog jumped over the lady docs

my room overlooks the beach with horizon glimpses

all rooms come equipped with silver where

please call room service for extra room

no card games after 11 says a sign

the fucking internets slow isnt it?

i look up its andrews again

andrews sitting on my bed with a woman

he grins : better than nevada , eh…..?

i walk through a door and i’m back in bondi

back in my own room now

my rented room with the red light

my books n my magazines

my clothes chucked about

my twelve stringed guitar

marconi union on the eyebox

ringling ears n all that

type type type

goodnight