dont get hung up on the terminology

try to find the idea within the words

modern science is uncertain where addiction resides

yes it is a series of neuro chemical blah blahs

it is also a crafty opponent that seems to out think you at every level

as you plot its demise in the secretest corner of your being

it fucking laughs to itself

baby it  knows your tiniest little inkling inside out

its got you bugged in heart and mind

its blocking your own internal dialogues

it obscures the heart and mind from each other

it fills you with irrational fear

it manipulates your choices

it jams your common sense

it bombards you with its propaganda

and it censors the information going in

it switches off self preservation measures

it over rides logic

it tells you one and one is three and you believe it

you find it hard to fight it because it isnt anywhere

but it always knows what your next move will be

it plays you like a fish…. let you go …reel you in

its got your number

it knows you

it is within you

you invited it in

i believe all substances that affect our consciousness have some spirit

or some program

or some agenda

or some disembodied intelligence behind them

and these spirits hide inside us

like lobbyists championing their cause

and telling you how badly you need them

and putting a spin on anything concerning them

and if ever cornered becoming angry and desperate

if you ask your friends why they smoke

after youve waded through all the usual rationales

you will invariably find that they become quite angry

because the spirit will not let them access the answers

and in their bafflement they become surly and incommunicative

and protective of their addiction

the spirits inner voice can sound just like your own

and it can threaten and cajole and whine and remonstrate

talk you into or out of anything  it wants

it tells you you enjoy smoking more than you do

it tells you that stopping will be harder than it really is

it tells you that you will stop…one day…but not yet….

it spews out hard luck stories why you need to keep going

dont let other people control you by getting you to quit

you’ll quit when youre good and ready but not today

you read all those statistics about cancer

you see all the pictures and the voice thinks of something

the spirit convinces you it wont happen to you

you’ll be the one percent that doesnt get something from it

i knew a woman who was a heavy smoker

she had a terrible cough

i said maybe you should slow down with the cigarettes

she said the cigarettes helped her cope with the cough!

i mean whos coming up with this stuff…?

who is manning the switchboard in your brain…?

something is telling you to keep doing something thats killing you

something that barely gives any reward but to satisfy itself

for this most meagre pleasure you are prepared to die horribly

and prematurely

and the spirit goes on yabbering year in year out

helping you procrastinate helping you relapse

helping you ignore those nasty warning signs

sometimes a whisper sometimes a roar

the voice of the spirit

listen

can you hear it?