a childs christmas in australia

uh lemme get this straight ok?

this jewish guy (allegedly) gets nailed on a cross by some italians

thousands of years ago in the middle east

and we celebrate that day with egg shaped chocolate delivered by a rabbit

however on the day the jewish guy is born

although this is not his actual birthday

we just pretend its his birthday

because we used to have another holiday then

so this jewish kid gets born and we symbolise it with icicles

and holly and snowy pub scenes from the 1800s and

god rest ye merry gentlemen

and fat fellas in red costumes and fir trees with ball-balls

and eating dead birds

and a load of sunburned english n irish blokes

walking up my street drinking beer and pissing wherever they like

and sales on bikinis in the cozzie hut

and falafels and more beer and doof doof doof at the pavilion

dj nong from manchester and mc ninny from majorca

doof doof doof

down goes the beer n ekkies

doof doof doof goes the noise

a real loud obnoxious racquet

the drinkers scream and revel so fervent

is the celebration of the long dead jewish guys birthday

some of em even know his name was jesus

actually that wasn’t his name

that was his name in greek

its like if i live on thru my music

and i am referred to as stavros

imagine that …”remindlesness by stavros kilbey”

yeah we go to the beach and we dance and drink

and we get in a fight

and vomit in the hot darkness back of the pav

and we go home with some australian bird and

we fuck in the humid australian night

and we have some more drinks and we piss on some geezers wall

and stumble back to the backpackers joint

but we lost our keys and we bellow

and burp and wake up the street

fuck em if they can’t take a fucking joke

its fucking christmas, innit….?