on a world warm day

the deep sea is green and cold

i am whirled about in it

the earth pauses

the morning holds its breath

something changed today

i cant tell yet what it is

something seemed like it was being manifested

the air was pregnant

an arrival seemed imminent

everything grew stiller and stiller

i waited …..we all waited…

we were somewhere waiting

the stillpoint went on and on and on

i was in a hotel in brighton settling a room charge

i was in a train speeding towards hamburg

i was in the sea in bondi

i was watching the esoteric pyramids of art and music twist in me head

i was at school and in jail

i was ash in the furnace

i wish vishnu wanted me as a sunbeam in his effulgence

i wish i could enter nirvana hotel where the rooms are all black

you open the door to that delicious room

you smile to yourself one last time

as you think about all the bullshit back there

the warm darkness lies waiting containing something  lovely

you take a look around at the outside where its cold and bleak

your skin is so dry

that wind blowing atcha all the time

your body aches from a million insults and whacks

your ears reverberate like fucked up phased cicadas out of their trees

your eyes blinded by jealousy and heat and the silver flash of fame

your hands tremble and shake resembling earthquake

your mind so burned so scarred so hard

you are about to enter your room when you hear a voice

a voice out there in the wilderness calling for help

maybe calling your name its so hard to tell

but your room is ready

youve been waiting a long time

you can just go in and shut that door it wont matter anymore

the voice calls out more faintly

calling for help

you stand there on the threshhold of your room

wondering

what do i do now?