hunkered down under the perma-fog
get up early
smoke a joint on the balc
gonna write a blog
what about?
i dunno yet
i cant even get the italics to work
i cant cut or paste
i cant slash and burn
i get led away easily
dont sleep well
the taxman is still patiently waiting
the unanswered letters remain that way
im a stupid bull(y) in an expensive china shoppe
yelling bluffing bucking and snorting
it feels good to admit my shortcomings
how did they pack so much into one man?
i am alternatively hyper-aware or thick as a brick
i am becoming deaf as a post 991
and blind as a (cricket) bat
the outside is harder for me to apprehend these days
i detect patterns of everything going right
and everything going wrong
currents of loathing and loving swirl around me
secrets and gossip and suspicions and implications
i can never make myself understood
only about 10 people in the whole wide world i feel comfortable with
all the others are getting an act
whoops steven youre falling out of character
for him your this way
for her your that way
for this other him your something else
for the other her your something less
see…?!! you can lose track of who you are that way
sometimes after meeting some people
earthy types
straight shooters
men of few words
i see them stride away thinking
i never wanna talk to that fool again
either gushing or sulkily silent
this weekend….
gotta deal with a loada strangers
whats p.c.? what isnt p.c.?
for example i know the dalai eats meat….?!
i just come straight from the vegan do….all fired up
relax…i aint gonna get to meet the druid
what do you say to that guy?
hi …err dalai…oh can i call you dal?
so you liked starfish?
er…hows it goin’ with china…these days..uh huh.oh really?
still …you see what i’m saying
personally i dont care what any of em do
i want to make a big olde fortune
(hey i’d be a wonderful heir….)
i want one of them big old houses in lavender bay
where its leafy and quiet
where i could hide in my library on days like these
winter days full of discontent
padded on all sides and every direction by money
i would doze in my armchair and dream of a world
i would banish noise from my plush secluded room
you might see me
a shadowy lonely figure in the window of some great house
staring out at the foggy harbour
as i stroke my faithful abyssinian cat
you would wonder who that rich distant man is
and you would wonder at my silent austere days
separated in my warm rooms from the rampaging rabble
no damp
no bills
no rent
no gigs
no flights
no can you change this
or please dont do thats
no one could reach me
hidden in my labyrinth of rooms
i do yoga as the rain falls down and down
the leaves are green and rubbery around my tower windows
i look in the mirror and see that im changing
an old man with hollow cheeks i am
dabbling in magic from my grimoires
becoming stranger and stranger day by day
unable to tell the true life apart
i am the unlonely
content in my own company
still the blasted rain falls
i watch from my tower as people scramble below
i know nothing of their worlds
i am up here changing lead into gold
i am up here invoking black angels
i am up here singing up the storm electric
i am up here the austral faust
as the money pours in and my powers grow
i practice qi gong for hours
i find i can hold my breath for 45 minutes
i find i can locate hidden doors
i become aware of ….other things
theres a knock knock knocking at my door
it vaguely penetrates my transmagical trance
i hear the servant send whoever it was away brusquely
i hear the door close
i imagine the footsteps away in the deluge
i imagine or do i hear a car start up and drive away
there is no northern hemisphere
there is no internet
there is no melbourne or perth
there is no surrounding patina of suburbs
the fog on the harbour blurs everything to silver grey
the rainfall drowns all other sound
its continual and continuous
the rain streaks across my windows driven by the winds
northern gales
southerly busters
howling incessant demanding
inside my fire glows
i poke at its glowing coals
i watch the flaming armies for hours
i have no need to eat
occasionally i sip at water
i sleep for centuries
i grow horns
and great leathery wings
finally a lovely tail
which writhes around of its own accord
i climb up to the top of my tower
and i fly
away into the turbulent sky