posted on March 23, 2009 at 8:23 pm

i sit before my screen
like jehovah sitting before the void
on the day He created the world
so many possibilities
so much potential
i chase elusive memories in my mind
surely i havent told you everything…?
surely not in 3 and a half years….
so often i think of a story
oh i’ll have to tell ’em i think
bout now i sit here empty handed
i see my biography is coming out soon
gee i feel important
then he took this
then he wrote that
then he got poor
i could have given it a better ending
“in 2003 some idiot covered one of his songs
and kilbey made zillions n moved into a mansion
in vaucluse just opposite nielsens park
he spends most of his time
painting n doing yoga in his
“crystal japan ” gardens”
but no
it hadda be one of them
he blew it but hes at least not such a bad bloke now endings
oh ho
ha ha
someone in another room : its not over yet…..
yeah at least i can say
“have you read my biography?” as an icebreaker at gatherings
of more important immediate interest
my art exhibition at pittsburgh institute of washed up genii
man art n technology baybee
every pic got its own tale to tell plus music
you gonna wanna gotta get to pittsburgh p a
cos thats where its gonna manifest
soon soon oh so soon
for god sake re-stimulate my economy
and buy them all up
they will look so nice hanging in your living rooms
they will be worth a fortune in twenty thousand years time
when an antiquarian will find my self portrait
and say
they did have kings in those days
i imagine richard lionheart looked a little like me
with the beard and the searching pained grey eyes
and with the compassion and great wisdom of ye olde time monarch
and the charisma to draw a blurred crusade around him
of all the things to aim for
i never thought of kingly
but i look around
and i DO indeed see the occasional king amongst us
ah what is that regal quality
that faux-imperial graciousness
i imagine olde wenceslas
looking out at that deep crisp n even snow
fuck…the snow was deep crisp AND even..
how often do you see that…?
i know ive gone on about this before
but it was the feast of steven
the king
the snow
its all adding up to me
or am i just another crazy eccentric poet-fool
mixed up in some pseudo rex malarkey?
oh how often do we ask that question?
i note some of you
sit there with your morning cuppa n morning biccie or cookie
and you read my strained natterings
and you feel like
oh ah oh ah
a nice gentle warm feeling of familiarity
oh the beings having one of his raves
not at all offended
that i have the gall to compare myself to good king wenceslas
you are, au contraire, mildly amused
like watching any old day to day thing
and yes
cant you see
i’m deeply woven into the fabric of peoples lives
(and dont tell anyone but i’m inching back up the charts)
i have become that other strange thing
ive become all cozy
cozy corner
i should rename this blog
kick off yer shoes
get comfy
switch off all that rubbish on yer computer
on comes that familiar black screen with the white letters
(course it dont let me write it like that)
there i am fiddling with a booze-ooki or whatever it is
and hey presto
my most arrogant arcane and acute baloney awaits
you sip yer cawfee
you nibble yer biccie
if youre in the u.s. or can. you nibble yer cookie
and you say
oh how nice
the killer thinks he looks like a kingly dude from the olden days
and everything seems normal in your world
have i lost my power to amaze you
to shock you
to make you choke on that bloody cookie
and splutter on yer earl grey
(earl grey…dontcha see…its talking about me)
you are thoroughly used to my shenanigans
you smile absent mindedly at my sordid ups n downs
you chuckle at my tawdry admissions
you giggle when i admit to a murder
you sigh when i explode over a shaved fish
ah ha
tell me
what do you want from your time being?
more helpful hints on home economics
topography maps
articles about led zepplin
my social round-up
agonizing self analysis
numbers games
card tricks
poetic reminiscing about the golden days when i was fab
cautionary tales from stockholms smack underbelly
free spirited renditions of campfire songs
cops n robbers
mr weird
kathy kilbey and twin time
paintings of my infirmities
or none of the above
remember then
my exhibition in pittsburgh
my biography
buy 2 …cos youll wanna read it twice
thank you for your donations to the cause
just a dollar a week
aint that cheap?
dont ya wanna feel all cozy inside?
ah…..go on
nice, isnt it?

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