i keep getting “outed’ in the sauna at the pool
ie i’m sitting there
having done
or about to do my laps
when….
and theres 2 main offenders
one is penelope a lady doctor who should know better
and the other is gary a south african architect
they see me in the sauna
and they have to tell all the others in there
“who” i am
now penelope had twice caught a cab with nelg last week
who i believe is pumping up painkiller in his cab
and she came bounding into the sauna the other day
theres me in lotus position
or quietly engaged in a chat with someone
when
steve steve
i caught a cab your friend drives the really slim guy
and he played me 3 or 4 tracks off your new album
and OH BOY EVERYBODY
DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?????
YOU DONT???
THIS GUY IS A GREAT MUSO!!!
I HEARD HIS NEW ALBUM I”M BUYING A COPY FOR MY BROTHER IN LAW
WHO SHOULD I BUY IT FROM STEVE?? YOU OR A RECORD SHOP
COZ I DONT WANT ANYONE GETTING YOUR MONEY!
I”D RATHER GIVE IT ALL TO YOU!
HEY EVERYBODY THIS IS STEVE KILBEY!
FROM THE CHURCH!
STEVE… SING A BIT OF UNDER THE MILKY WAY !! GO ON!!
HEY YOU ALL MUST KNOW UNDER THE MILKY WAY
OH ITS A BEAUT SONG I JUST LOVE IT!
OH STEVES GETTING MAD AT ME NOW
BUT YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW HE”S A FABULOUS MUSO …..
etc etc
the other one
he comes in
he cant believe he knows someone in showbiz
even if its only me
it tickles him pink to think
hes sitting there with me and i’m a singer
although hes a filthy rich architect and some big shot
he cant help mentioning it
especially if theres a loada “strangers” in there
especially if theres any females
who he always calls lasses
gary:”a lass”
girl :”alas”
he raves on and on
in his south african way
he raved at this woman till she got up n went out
why did you do that? i ask
cos singing turns women on he says
cant you talk about architecture? i ask
nah doesnt turn em on he says
arent you married? i ask
gary nods quickly …yeah
what about your wife then?
what about her?
does architecture turn her on? i ask
he laughs bitterly
it doesnt even fucking turn me on he admits
what? i say mock incredulously
it doesnt turn you on?
nah gary says
ive built some beautiful buildings but….he drifts away
i imagine garys having visions of himself standing there
in some packed theatre, hefting his white fender strat
(the sexiest guitar ever by dint of jimi n marc)
fuck architecture lets rock he screams
in my imagination of his imagination
i see him as i always see him
dressed in his budgie smuggler swimmers
bit of a pot belly and round shoulders and quite hairy
playing his strat and doing the swim
his backing band is called the veldt
no more songs about buildings or food gary sings
no more draftsmens contracts neither
anyway
he always has to out me in his goodnatured way
later in the change rooms he says
i wish i had job i really loved
i wish i had your fucking money.. i say
for a moment we lock eyes
izzi thinkin’ what i’m thinkin’
i can see it now
boys this is gary, the new lead singer for a while
meanwhile buildings in sydney are newly collapsing
as olde sk tries his hand as another gaudi
(a flamboyant spanish archi)
sitting at some meeting in my 2k suit
they wont realise (for a while) that i’m an idiot
if someone mentions words like angle or foundation to me
i automatically go into a ten minute daze thinking about ambiguity
but just to pretend to live that life….to see if i could get away with it
anyway i’d do more columns and gargoyles and fountains
i’d be good at that stuff
money doesnt buy you happiness.. gary cautions
as he zips off in his sleek black beemer
and i plod off home
oh i am so sick of my own envy
the good lord says when you ever envy another man
it is the beginning of all trouble
and i believe it to be true
i really seem to never learn my lesson

tonite i’ll be rehearsing zoo story with seb
on sunday arvo i’m doing a cuppla songs at the gallerys opening
(mal turnbulli is opening it!?)
which is where we’re doing the play eventually
28 spring st bondi junction
i’m also painting like mad to get a pic finished for the opening
its a big picture of ganesha in bondi and its a jumbo sized job
i’m also appearing at a gig in glebe on 7 oct
which will be a comedic poetry type thing (!?)
thats enuff for now
painkiller available real soon
bye y’all
sk