the boy got that aloneliness again

bewildered in the big city

wandering along in the illusions

aloneliness in a hotel

aloneliness in a bedroom

aloneliness in a crowded train speeding into night

night makes it all worse

night makes it in unbearable

in a deserted dark place when the wind is cold

how abandoned in a field of towering flowers

i hide under the chairs begging for sleep to come

eventually all footsteps die away out there

metamorphosis complete

a child among the furniture

winters little boy on the edge of a cruel spring

a kid in his old man suit over a barrel hopping thru hoops

need to see where i’m going with this

this aloneliness these things that i dont like

cant sleep because of the dream

cant dream because of the fear

cant fear because i’m n was a boy

cant play a card right now i cant go

i watch a cartoon of my life

hey it looks just like me  i start to chuckle

a piano falls on my characters head

learn to let it go says a voice above -whoever dropped it

no wonder i see stars

in the cartoon i keep getting it all mixed up

do one thing say another thing yet another thing omitted

i’m pushing a wheel up a hill

or i’m rowing a boat against the current

or i’m trying to take off but my wings wont sing

its nearly ten

my eyelids are heavy sore and gritty

i hide in a cave i hide in a circuit

i hide in a space between today n tomorrow

when the bass guitar kicks in

when the comparisons can be made

when the ugliest truth if its never faced

i follow a pattern of thought

a humming sound in my ears

a warm place opens up in my head

a safe place

you can be safe in the warm place in your head

but they can still get in there

those things that frighten you

they come in as your good things escape

all those lovely good things pouring out in freefall

its funny how he snatches empty handed at the air

its funny how the good things fly away on cartoon wings

plunged into a carnival the lights dazzle my eyes

my parent lets of my hand

and i’m swept along with the throng

no one sees me under this blanket

curled up and doing deals with myself

some bit of paper in my hand

no one could love me

i twitch in my half slumber half number

my eyes are closed but my head is open

anger slips in unannounced

sympathy slips out

in my dreams i’m in india or ha ha england

and every thing is peachy

thats why i twitch in the gigantic bed

i looked like ive been wrecked on some reef

shuddering at the sound of my heart on the pillow

a minion in a king size bed

i drown in saturday night

its quite unpleasant breathing it all in

before you black out

tune out for a few hours

listen to some other voices

the ones who waiting for me in my warm place

where they dont let in aloneliness