posted on March 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

phrygian archer

rented a dvd of the odyssey made circa 1997

watched it with the girls

aurora in particular going thru an acute ancient greek phase

anyway here are a few thoughts

it was 2 part tv mini series originally


the minuses

there was no siren scene

c’mon guys thats like alice without the white rabbit

its like narnia without the white witch

its like the bible without goliath

i dunno what were they thinking….?

2. no land of the lotus eaters no cattle of the sungod

3 the sea monster which eats laocoon is simply silly

4 poseidon appears as a corny face in a wave

and has a dopey reverbed hollywood voice

5 the north wind god with the brooklyn accent

however the pluses easily outweigh the minuses for sure

armand assante is a very good odysseus

noble brave and handsome

sometimes looking very battered and humbled

at other times regal and very hawk-like

a sterling performance that you will enjoy

one can see why the ladies all woulda fancied him

you can see why his men would have been devoted

the depictions of his time with circe and calypso are feverish dreams

in circes palace odysseus n the boys lie around

eating grapes peeled for them by a bunch of saucy supernatural handmaidens

so out of it on hedonism they dont notice the years flying past

its a pretty far out scene and a shame odysseus had to drag those guys outta there

merely to get eaten up by various sea monsters

when they coulda still been there now

drinking wine and taking a bath with some ever youthful immortal bint

so off their trolleys that months pass like moments

and moments like months

look sign me up for this and dont bother waking me out of it either

i can think of worse ways to spend an eternity

anyway circe is a real fruity fruitcake of a witch

when the big O does not succumb to her tricks

she realises how sexy our hero is

and drags him off to some very kinky witchy nooky

vanessa williams as calypso is a different kettle of fish

a divine sea nymph horny as all hell

but unlike circe who was just using our hero for kicks

calypso falls hard for our dude

by this time odysseus has lost his crew

hes washed up on an island inhabited by calypso n her girl posse

another bunch of pseudo egyptian mute cuties who giggle n coo

as they watch odysseus and calypso get it on in the old cave

odysseus gets sucked in again (ooh mr humphries…!)

and spends more long years wrapped up in some pleasurable ennui

dancing around with the nymphs banging the drum and calypso

she washes him in the lovely sea pools on her island

like a holiday resort in a modesty blaise movie

eventually hermes shows up n calypso watches our hero leave

with palpable emotion


hermes is kinda nifty as a super gorgeous gay god

all golden smirking and supercilious

he hangs in the air with his golden nappy thingy

i kept thinking he would burst into a jobriath song


even after calypso offers him eternal days of sex n drugs n rocknroll

he turns em all down n leaves for home

now at home greta scacchi is his wife besieged by a bunch of suitors

lead by the very evil cunning handsomely wicked eric roberts

you just know all these nasty types gonna end up on odysseus’ bad side

and of course eric gets it last of all

this is an amazing scene and old oddy gives it to em good

hes pretty self righteous however for a dude who just spent a decade

having fun with a couple of hot immortal strumpets on pleasure islands

but there ya go a nice double standard

eventually reunited with his queen

all is well in ithaca

and everybody here agrees a good time was had by all


sorta recommended ….


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