how hilarious to see myself on youtube
in all my arrogant glory
opining a loada bull
acting like im a marquis or something
success is fun
but failya shapes ya
thats for sure
i dont know how i feel to see myself
its not a problem most people have
or imagine they would have
watching yerself on the telly
rambling on with a penchant for bullshit
lord kill-bee of rozelle
supercilious surly broody moody mean
but not magnificent
people didnae dig my uppity attitude
my sneering and my nasty little smile
admittedly i cut a dashing figure back then
whenever it fucking is im talking about
but my know-it-all-ness ruins my good looks
i come across as an uptight fop
no man of the people
no regular joe
but some clever-dick prick
with a line in big words
la muse: things havent changed much….
anyway
(who let her outta her box ?)
im attracted and repulsed by these visions of myself
is this interesting to you….?
i always wondered how it would feel…..
seeing yer face in mags on tv etc
its just……..
nothing
believe me
youll get no succour from it
if you do ….youre already lost
being on some silly show
acting like a jerk and a right berk
it just didnae suit me
i didnt have the showbiz personality
i could have now…if i needed to
but then
it didnt dawn on me
to play along
but i dont come across as a rebel
more of a prat
its a hard thing to pull off
that thing popular people do
getting the mixture right
mystery
humanity
looks
originality
universality
marketability
i had some in spades
others i had a void suit
now im so tired of all this
to an olde man it seems like trifles
im asking myself what is the purpose of my life
not
where am i in the charts
but the answer to both those questions is silence
i like the new me better by the way
but i wanna relive my life as the new me
the new me i never knew
i wanna go back and have another shot
knowing what i know now
muse: which is?
umm….let me see
gee its hard to put into words
muse: its a feeling, isnt it…?
look the reason i write this blogge
is because ive led an unusual life
which is simultaneously a cliche life too
a modern sob story
on a modest scale of course
thrills n spills
i been hi
i been lo
i seen it up close
the best n worse
i lived my life fully
i did it m-y wa-ay
anxiety still haunts me as ever
famous or infamous
there was no getting away from me
no person
no drug
no fortune
no humiliation
no song
nothing
could get the me outta me
i was stuck with myself
hating and loving myself ridiculously
fucked up on a superioty/inferioty complex
mystery achievement…stop breathing down my neck
i wanted everything n i ended up with almost nothing
i wanted nothing and i got all this
at least i have my dear readers
to some how help me come to terms
with the idiot in the mirror
people to ponder my heartfelt words
and then write a comment
that has only the most tenuous connection
to what im talking about
my brilliance and stupidity encircle you here
i will continue to dazzle n disappoint ya
that is my nature and that is my fate
heyday was yesterday
and that was such an easy game to play
now i place a need to confide away
scarlets got a fever
and my veggie hotdog is ready
tonite more kilbey/kennedy
its getting near finished
see ya 2morroe
keep the comments relevant
ok?
ttb