posted on August 1, 2007 at 5:07 am

olde olde killer in his little sunlit room
part dante
part clown
part mangey panther
part devil squirrel
part man
part spirit
part the red sea with a fender bass
white hippy mojoses
if you please
olde killer listens to high spark of low heeled boys
oh that piano sounds so good
oh the smooth flute
re bops tropical percussion percolating
warm day in southern hemi fiendss
i bodysurfed for brekkie
i took scarlet to accnts meeting
ive read yr blogge says my accnt
which surprises me…
all the kids have nicknames dont they he says
yep thats the bumper i enthuse happily
cos hes just told me my tax wallop
is gonna be a medium one
not such a huge thump as we had feared
scarlet n i hang at out at coogee
with janice n marlon from the emerald ireland
scarlet is charismatic
im sorry to say it
but ive heard that word bandied about a bit
a little liz taylor with her violet eyes
her theme song is there she goes by the las
you only need to sing :
there she……
and scarlet comes in :
perfectly in pitch n time
ive experimented raising n lowering the pitch
but shes always right there
i know all kids love music
but scarlet goes to some place
and she gets that annie lennox look in her eyes
somehow nature has gone thru every attribute
that nk or i possess
and bestowed them all in this one bumper creature
i am in awe of the childe
cheerful bright n loving
with occaisional wrathful moments
i believe scarlet is something good for this world
and she will do something that will make a lotta people happy

people didnt like me much as a kid
lets face it
i was obnoxious precocious n a nassty character
i was cruel cowardly n rude
not all the time, fiendss of course
i wasnt all badde
but i didnt like myself much
im struggling with that even now
i loved my mum n dad
but i was always misbehavin’
in my day ya werent sposed to argue or contradict adults
bullshit i thought
n i argued contradicted n insulted em like a real little sod
its been a slow transition
and i cringe when i think of all the things i used to say
for example
some olde codger
a friend of my dads
telling me how good i had it
and reminiscing bout his boring dickensian olde childhood
which he spent down a treacle well or whatever the hell
and as hes telling the tale he gets all misty eyed:
me n my mate gerald
we get 2 pennies n we ran down mrs hogdens pie shop
and my mate gerald says…
suddenly little steven aged 10 says:
get to the punchline will you?
and yon codger implodes in redfaced indignation
and my dad dont talk to me all the way home
10 year olds didnt say stuff like that back then
you were sposed to be seen but not heard
fuck it people
ive copped it both ways!
i grew up on the cusp of the revolution..
as kids in the 50s n 60s we were more disciplined
most kids got smacked n spanked
sometimes with wooden spoons
n things that sing as they come towards you in the air
woooooooo oooooooo whack!
ive seen friends of mine get a belting with fathers belt
and i seen fathers just start laying into their sons with fists
the teachers could hit you and they fucking well did
at 6,miss dewgood whacked us behind the knee with a featherduster
the cane part i mean…not the feathers
the bigshots at lyneham high caned ya on the hand
up to 3 times on each hand
six of the best that was called
i got “the cuts” a few times
but only one on each hand
its an exruciating pain that shoots all over yer body
like being kicked in the balls
it lasts for ages too
the teacher could pick on ya
ridicule ya n stuff
and you were sposed to just put up with it
those were the times
but we thought
oh well
when we grow up
we can in turn
enjoy having the rule of the roost
but the kids staged a revolution
and now its all namby fucking pamby mollycoddling palaver
ooh little jason i feel disempowered when you clobber me
instead of
take that you little monkey !(sound of back hander)
look i dont like the discipline either way
i hated getting it
and i hate dishing it out
now i have to say all that same olde stuff
dont run in road!
dont talk with mouth full of food!
dont chuck yer bloody toys everywhere!
i know it amuses you
that yer space rocking renaissance man
has to discipline his kids
but wasnt it ever so
its for everyones sake isnt it?
do you wanna get on a bus with a bunch of pigs?
trouble is what is defined as manners has changed…
in my childhood days
auntie lou n co would get all hot under the collar
just on where your elbows were…
are you a wing commander, steven? theyd say as a warning shot
if your elbows werent by yer sides n OFF THE TABLE!
eve n aurora slouch n slump
sit cross legged
standup leanover
jog on the spot
sprawl fidget jump about
auntie lou would have had kittens in spades
childrens elbows have faded to insignificance
scarlet adds to the shambles
and the doodles laugh n hoot n holler
at every dribble n splodge
tho she is quite good considering she aint even 2 yet
but all im saying is
why cant people be born with manners?

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