today my head is filled with justabout everything
its a dark overcast morning here in nth bondi
a thousand shades of grey fill the torn sky
i can see the harbour bridge off in the distance
popul vuhs agape percolates on the machine
my feet are cold
but they usually are
i cant believe its 2007 and i have 5 daughters
i cant believe im sitting in this kitchen typing this out to you
i cant believe that i am a biped breathing gases on a chunk of rock
i cant believe that below this ordinary veneer of reality
there are a million alternative versions
i cant believe how lucky/old/whatever i am
a blue sky and a rainbow have come to dissipate the grey
the red orange and purple roofed houses
a rainbow casting its weird light
half the sky bright
half the sky still dark
the rainbow is the threshold where the blue meets grey
surely this is a sign
an omen
the sky swallows the rainbow
smothers it in photons
the rainbow becomes a crooked column of colour
as it drifts towards the heads
white flowers ….oh their divine aroma
weeds gone mad and nodding palms
and the feeling the seas not far away
everything in here still still
hyper-still
the females all still sleep
my family slumber in early autumnal shadows
unaware of the time being in the penumbra of the kitchen
the clock makes its rounds
clicking off each second
a second that brings me closer to….?
i stagger to think
i guzzle fiji water
everything seems a long way off
as if im on some peak
looking down at the past n the future
equidistant now
this is the wonder of dawn
the clear truthful time
a time for owning up
a time when the facades can crumble
i hear your questions
why why why
whispering and demanding
singing different words to the same song
coming in on different sides
with your own takes
i attract trouble
i change horses in midstream
i look at my reflection in dawns mirror
and i see nothing much
the bamboo grows in its white pot
my bonsai is already dead
but i cant bear to throw it away
the summer sun blasted it
and my neglect let it wither
morning comes whether you wanted it or not
a sad little piano piece
the water in canals is ruffled
i take leave of my body; poets can do that
up i go and my gaze stretches out
looking down thru the racing clouds
into peoples houses and hearts
gleaming kitchens and dreaming children
gardens sandpits swings and bikes
dolls houses and fish tanks
old engine bits waiting in the garage
puddles that reflect the sky flash and change
trains rushing headlong who knows where or why
faces in windows in carriages show pale concern
hearses pull up outside graveyards filled with stone angels
the grieving wander the dismal paths finding little hope
willows weep and bridges sigh
in the country the earth silently asks for rain
but the clouds go sailing by
letters uncollected in letterboxes
sad communications and bills
sheep nibble yellow grass in the dust
the oil evaporates in the motor
and rust subtly explores all the openings
the newspapers got it all in black and white
the road peters out
a sandy track goes nowhere
bearded lizards scamper away
thorns
barbed wire
keep out
old empty beer bottles
and signs of a fire
horseflies
a few drops of rain
spiteful thistles
a crescent of blood
a locked gate
ochre rubble
ants bite
a shack
damp dark
full stop