fuck!

i just lost me fuckin’ blog!

me bib pectin

i cant believe it

i’m so unlucky it makes me bloody sick

i mean my jaguars not getting any younger

and my charisma wont always be as strong as this

jig marlong from toonby-st claire writes

oh bib i love your song about the star filled heavens…!

it helped me over the rejection of my manuscript!

yeah whatever mate good for you…..

mrs norma frost of east kennel writes

oh bib you sexy old fool…!

yes love yes

i understand

its easy to be smitten isnt it?

meanwhile my golf handicap has improved

its a fucking gentlemens game innit?

i love to smash that little ball

the bleeding ‘oi polloi cant understand that

i play with some other top stars

with twice as much money

but half as much talent as yours truly

whinging on about tax havens between putts

get on the piss at the clubhouse maybe meet some divorcees

hi i’m bib pectin

divorcee : why of course you are…..may i call you bib..?

yeah mr pectin sounds ridiculous dunnit?

divorcee : why bib youre so much more handsome in real life

aint it the truth darlin’ i reluctantly sigh

i mean i’m a sexy strong fella but its not just about that

i dont wanna be used for my good looks

i’d feel cheapened

you gotta appreciate my talent

you gotta appreciate my struggle to become an aussie icon

battling the pokies in rsl clubs

sand in my eyes singin’ at lifesaving carnivals

that time i got a nasty shock off the mike

i got a nasty rash downstairs but no one would believe me

some idiot tuned my guitar up wrong

i forgot the words to some song

christ i dunno

its not all dancing on clouds

my agent booked me a cruise gig on some fucking liner or another

i vomited on the audience the first night seasickness

the second night i dozed off on the dramamine

then we stopped at a port and i got lost n didnt get back on the ship

luckily the geeza at the aussie embassy reckoed me or i’d have been chop goreng suey

thats some heavy sitch……right?

fuck all that doom n gloom

i’m going down the bungy bar for a sherbet with me mates

life aint too bad when yer bib

eh?