deer steeve
i am writing to you to say
blah blah blah
n
furthermore
rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb
i look up from the page
north bondi is dazzling in the early morning sun(day)
everything washed cleen by the rain
five daughters
2 brothers
one wife
one mother
54 years olde
13 different people living in my head
which one will betray me?
these are the ravings of a madman
last night it rained
sade is playing in my incense filled room
you give me you give me the sweetest taboo
the rain falls out there
but ive telescoped into my room
yes i am wildly intoxicated
on a potent cocktail of stuff
the room seems to fill with a fog
my eyes are wild
my pupils are like black plates
i take everything in
i look at myself in the mirror
a naked man
you can tell
by the hairs on my chinny chin chin
i made myself a sangria
one slug of red wine
one slug of triple sec
one dash of raspberry syrup
top it up with a berry v
n
voila
i slosh down my concoction
a door slams somewhere
people laughing somewhere
a painting i did of harry houdini
my clean n dirty clothes all mixed up
ants invading this house all the time
my wife is having a long shower
the children is all cuddled up
3 in one big bed
the rain : fall fall fall
the wind : blow blow blow
the wife : shower shower shower
the man in the mirror : naked naked naked
the 13 voices in my head : whisper whisper whisper
the stuff in my bloodstream : intoxicate intoxicate intoxicate
i give the ants some of my pot cookie to eat
fuck em if they cant take a joke…
but i reckon the queen’ll be sending em back for more
go on little anty
eat up yer nice sweet cookie
tonite the old nest will be jiving
they gonna be the coolest ants
meanwhile sade : there is no other love like ours
a blonde woman walks in the room
shes smiling
i must be dreaming i’m naked
or what?
this woman with an accent
a soft voice
the rain falling
its so perfect
sheet lightning illuminating the sky in flickering caresses
nothing else matters
there is nothing out there anymore
the outside
the rest of the house
the sleeping girls in the one big bed
the ants eat their cookies
staggering towards window sill
(rocker drugs ants!)
fuck i am such a childe
i love stuff like that
i aint raging at the dying of the light
if darkness comes
then i will shine on regardless
out there where im nothing
in here where i am everything
yeah i am the violinist in the subway
yeah i am the masterpiece for sale for 150 bucks
only you n i know that
most people dont like people like me most
but it makes you like me more
that i am so under appreciated n under valued
i am your little secret
i am your refuge
i am your haven
i am a washed up old bastard
i am i am i am
i did it all by myself
i taught myself everything
but i guess i shoulda got a new teacher
at fifty four i dont have anything to show
but my lovely jawline n my steely thighs
i cant help admire n detest myself at the same time
in the mirror my face is flushed
my hair is damp n dark
pushed back from my forehead
i look like a red indian
i look like a lemurian crazyman
my eyes so huge n black
i stare at myself intently
my fascination with myself…
i mean
its sick
isnt it?
stupid olde narcissus is turned into a flower
the blonde woman lays her hands on my back
her hands go right through my flesh
and soothe my olde n aching bones
my face with all its planes n angles n lines
not the face of decency or morality
jesus steeve you been living a fucking hard life, boyo
take everything to the extreme
you indulge in simply everything
i never sit eating pizza n watching the tv tho
i never come home drunk n scare me family
i never watching sport with boys
i never down the pub chatting up floozies
my face is olde now
i can still see its me
can you see the real me…can ya? can ya?
the blonde stranger in my room
i let her touch me
i cant get a fix on her
she modulates
her delicate face though
i always wanted someone like her
oh shes so pretty
shes smiling at me
dont my wild black eyes frighten her away?
my black eyes on her white skin
an inexhaustible chemistry
my brown hands on her white neck
my lips touch a spot beneath her ear
her neck n throat are unbelievably fragrant
a soft young sweetness
i am a man
is it any wonder then….?
the light glows on in the room
i watch us in the mirror
as the rain falls
and night expands into the wee small hours
and the minutes slip skip n glide
mmmmmm