posted on November 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

the one that got away

been re-hearsing with my band

re-hearsing re-hashing re: blah blah blah

it may sir-prize you blah blah blah

i just heard blah blah blah


mean while

nastiness and wild benevolence continue to co-exist

leaf blowers pointlessly fucking making a fucking noise

world rushes to war coz we still havent learnt

race horses get shot for pet food at the end of their run

(we should do that with politicians too)

(except the pets wouldnt eat it!)

the church is going on tour

we are still the best band in the world (except for a few others)

we still rock baby

killer likes to rock now ever so ever so

who is yer main man?

who gets the blame ? harry flowers!

my train of thought has been delayed

what happens after the second chorus?

the middle eight ate my middle sex no thanks i’m british

lets see …its A flat in A sharp area of G i forgot

i wrote a song about cigs..the chords are F A G

i wrote a song about the queen the chords are  B A G

i wrote a song about digging in the earth its in A minor

i wrote a song about the army in A major

my F is better augmented

it however remains undiminished

when i drink i slur and slide on the bass

the drums are a trap especially the snare

the rest are Toms or merely cymbalic

songs we are playing on this tour are  :

life is deep (so do ya wanna fuck?)

socrates existential blues (lets go to hooters!)

faust entry (lubricated goethe!)

mama youre so hot …oooh but footy is better…..!

rockin’ rollin’ struttin’ shakin’ jivin’ worn out man

the turgid mistake

the illuminati ate my homework

the way the sunlight plays upon her hare

rocknroll fuckup armageddon trash must burn (feat harpsichord n lute solo)

total absolute outta control free form freak out (parts 1, parts 2 and a slight refrain with key change)

and that other song we tried to make a hit but everyone hates (x 3)

meanwhile …ive been kitted out with a new wardrobe too

unfortunately i still got the same old clothes in it

my make up girl is only made up after all

i mean i made it all up and now she wont make up

make of it what you, Will

my wardrobe assistant quit in 1981 after contracting imbarrassment

i will be playing my trusty fender blobcaster with its rusty pre-raphaelite strings

i will be firing up my powerful 600 hundred and 66 watt ampn my marshall wyrmwood

it has induced vomiting and dizziness amongst the roadcrew

i cant wait to turn it up and aim it at the audients

i will be using plectrums fashioned from white rhino horn and narwhals teeth

i am sponsored by the uranium sellers guild and kim jong the third burger co

i drive a fossil fuel guzzling dinosaur thats gotta carbon footprint bigger than donald trumps entire hairdo

each concert drains enough power to light up half of africa for a year

our lyrics are sexist ageist racist homo and heterophobic yet still sensitive n ro-mantic

please come and see us when we appear near you doing the 1880s revue



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