sunday morning coming down
down the spiral staircase of past days
all the ones i lived n never lived
glimpses and flashes disrupt my continuity
sometimes i disturb magnetic fields
clocks stop and small babies giggle
i smoke dope to tune it all in n block it all out
because all this raw data is too much for me
then
shiva asks his consort
darling with your liquid eyes of love
what is the nature of your reality ?
his radiant and divine wife
answers him in a number of sutras
each a sublime tiny poem of transcendence
she says things like
on a black n rainy night become one with the rain
and i understand immediately
because that i have done my whole holed holy life
on the loneliest of nights when i could not find a friend
was i such a monster…..?
this morning i get a message from a very old friend of mine
just reading his name takes me back to these olden days
he was 19 n i was 18
it seemed that we 2 and only we 2
were the absolute authorities on music n fashion n stuff
although i dyed my hair ponced around n wore a bitter makeup
cmon this was 1972/73 for godsake
i was fiercely heterosexual
i mean i never ever had one tiny second of doubt
n i never had one tiny physical encounter neither
no matter what i was into women ha ha ha
not so my friend who was more” confused”
from things i gathered in his letter today
he was kinda overfond of me
this kinda clouded our relationship a bit
because i really liked my friend
because he knew so much about music n records n production
he had an amazing record collection
all pristine in their plastic covers
but this “confusion” eventually meant we didnt hang out
which was a shame
because in canberra one didnt meet a lotta like minded individuals
my friend had a lotta talent n ability too
but sadly he had no confidence
me…i hadda loada confidence
as i said before
i didnt think i was THAT great
but looking round at the competition….
yet
i still marvel at the mediocre ninnies doing well
i see the great undiscovered cloud of potentials
i take drugs to keep em all out
i study ancient arcane texts to escape from myself
a pair of parrots land on a wire
hes vivid red
she is fluorescent green
radha and krishna deep in the forest
india india india
the upanishadis
the vedas
the gita
their science of devotion
krishna stops time with his kiss
indra sends his daughter to earth to learn our mortal woes
lord shiva with the ganges in his hair
i am a thousand men who passed this way n left no trace
i took opium to block them all out
the subcontinent is on/in my deepest mind
the heavenly birds talk in sanskrit like songs
sunday morning in the pacific ocean
saturday night i walk thru lamplit darkened streets
with my 3 daughters and their friend
they talk out loud of their dreams
i had previously thought their friend a little world weary
but now she waxed rhapsodic on her marvellous series of dreams
“a stable full of horses made of pink diamonds ” she gasps
the 3 daughters listen wide eyed n attentive
as i march em thru the cool back streets of bondi for exercise
i see parties and people drinking outside pubs
cars n taxis pull up n discharge passengers
it is saturday night in sydney after all
but i just march em all thru the streets
silently keeping up the pace
bondi looks lovely on a full moon summers night
there is a sacred feeling in the air
tho not many seem to pick up on it
now the morning has come n almost gone
hot n humid
i already had a sno-cone
one of my fillings has fallen out
yes i bit down hard on life
and life felt like chewing aluminium on your fillings
and life was a snakes and ladders set up
and life was extremely sweet n extremely sour
etc
meanwhile
i’ll stop
have a little rest
re-set
n
continue