posted on May 2, 2007 at 9:45 pm

sorry i wasnt all things to all people
i aint st francis of assisi
i aint a lovelywonderful manne neither
not according to anyone
did i ever say that i was..?
i fucking put on my best show in london
i put my heart n soul into it
my heart n soul
no exageration
im sorry bout the dudes chair
there were no chairs i could see
backstage we had 2 sofas
and then some other jealous anonymous little prick jumps in
n people character assassinating me n ricky
one of my dearest friends….
i was there to play music
i was there to deliver
and i delivered it
cos it took all of us a long time to get there
the band and the audience
it was fucking monday night
we drove up from brighton
we got lost in london
we argued with each other
we loaded in
our soundman was sick n couldnt make it
we had a guy who’d never done it before
we had all the usual problems with our antique gear
we finally soundchecked just as wed run outta time
n yet
n yet
we played a blinder
im sorry if some people are disillusioned with me
ya got 2 choices
realise this: im not jesus christ
lets say fare thee well
i write this blogg
as a mixed media work
part diary
part fact
part fiction
part poetry
part bullshit
i dont pretend to be nothin’ mister
im a peacenik
i abhor meat
i pity the poor saps who eat it
i am almost fifty three…im an olde boy
i am bitter nasty callous forgetful bastard sometimes
aint you?
and can ya admit it?
i make mistakes
i say n write things i regret
i do stupid things
sometimes things i intend as funny come out sad
and vice versa
im honest and you better believe it
no agenda except my own self aggrandizement
and saying obvious things like
the iraqi war n all wars are an abomination
guns are stupid things that are meant to kill
and lets face it
they very often do
i am anti western anglo saxon imperialistic bullshit
i think blair AND howard AND bush are worms
all bombs are terrorism
who would jesus bomb?
i am a load of badde things
dont you think i know that?
but the fucking suggestion that i was ignoring a sick guy
while i was swanning around is a joke that is in actuality
not worth defending
i dont control who comes back
i dont control where chairs go
im just an olde tired bass player
turning up
n doing it as i know best
and trying
trying so hard
im sorry youve gone and painted this picture of me
you rained on my parade now
just like ive presumably rained on yours
theres always gotta be a catch…
overcoming all odds
we played a good one in london
and next day i have to see this…
oh well
i am home at last
uneventful flights
watch stranger than fiction
which COULDA been good
but was actually half baked n under realised
yes nevets i was unsatisfied with this film
im afraid could only give it 2 n a half *s
oh dear well im gonna give it a 3***
because …oh i was ok
and then the illusionist
which i started watching too late
only about 25 mins
n we landed in syddley
i was hopin for a holding pattern…muse?
well nevets its got all the ingredients you like hasnt it
and that filter thing they do with the computers nowadays
but quite frankly the romantic angle was a little unlikely
so i can only give it so far 3n half ***s
oh well i disagree im given it 4****s …so far
but i can see it could get errr ..schmaltzy
here i am back home
in a silent empty house
for 2 weeks
europe over
a few big ifs?
dont count on it
thats what i’d say
im gonna give ya my impressions of the tour
my de briefing if you want it
you know
at anytime
if you dont like the stuff i write
you can stop reading
its ok
i wont feel a thing
i wont even know
im just reminding you thats all

stevie bouy northern bondi wilderness
just back from the cliffs n the sea n the golf course n poo stack
where the frangipanies have disappeared
and the world looks more sombre
where i know the guys who work in the local shop
and those nice but noisy greek kidss under neath me
and my big white i box pumping out a weird shuffle
and my great friend glenny boy who sorted me out
the moment i got home and fed the fish for the doodle heads
and the most people here
they dont know i write a blogge that has had well over a half a million hits
or that i sold over a million records
nor that that i been narcomaniac n spent a night in jail once
they dont know im one of the best lyricists in my field in the world
it doesnt matter if i dont sell any records
you know its true
and ive flown for days n days n days
n stayed in more hotels
than all of ya reading this put together have
ive seen more of america than most americans
i was plugged into an amp n pumping out
my own mellifluous bass riffs
before a lotta ya were born
i aint so pretty anymore neeva
im looking my age, boyo
you tell me who dont when theyre this olde
but i can fucking jump about n sing my head off
for two hours while lugging that great big heavy
but ohh so beautiful straddle-various of a bass
my bass my familiar my other wife
oh when we start to lock in…..
i hadda life you cant imagine
unless you done this no one can
im not boasting
im not complaining
ive stayed in the best places
and ive stooped to the lowest
you want some truth
or some bullshit
i got both
you unravel it my friendss
you sort it out
i aint the best in the world
but on the other hand
im a rare commodity
cos despite what they say
i care
think about it
i care
i try
simple words
simple concept
sometimes i forget
but it aint cos im swanning around
like marie antoinenette
saying let em eat cake
thats not fucking true
i care
as much as i can
you know me
but i dont really know you
i care as much as i can
for people i dont really know
im sorry i made ya disgruntled
i cant be all things to all people it seems
i was trying to meet n greet the ones i did see
im shaking hands n kissing babies like ya wanted
doing the hard yards driving a van for thousands of ks
all thru city n dell n marsh n alp n plains n other planes
you may think ya know me….
but i putta lotta hard yakka into this thing
try being a fucking vegan for 3 weeks in europa
for a cuppla days i ate bread rolls n tomatoes all day
somedays i hadda put up with something with cheese or starve
you dont know the love n care i try to put in my words n songs

and i love what i do
and i give you the uncondescending best that i have
be it jack frost or hex or a poetry reading or a lyric or a blogg
(as i type this line grant comes on shuffle
what are the chances
i know grants been trying to contact me..
grant im still alive, i cant see you )
dont tell me i aint trying hard enuff
im committed
im committed to quality
im committed to the the strange n extraordinary
im committed to the electric guitar
im committed to bobby dylan n neil young n leonard cohen
n keith richards
im not in their league
but baby
thats how im planning to get olde
just like that
rocking n rocking on
whatever any of ya dont like about me
too badde
thats what it takes
take the badde with the johnny be goode
ive fucked up my own career with my stupid behaviour
im my own worst enemy
i dont need snide little comments from anonymouse
jealous little prick
i know who you are
and im gonna nail ya!
ha ha ha

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