poor steven
never where he wants to be
never gets what he expects
always disappointed
wrong plaice, wrong thyme
miss understood
miss managed
miss interpretated
over estimating
a wavering tyrant
a rebellious subject
expensive tastes
cheap seats
sinning saint
sanctimonious sinner
bitter lemon
sour grapes
sweet nothing
pretty ugly
pretty olde
millions of chances
blue everyone
cranky instead of thankful
rude instead of shrewd
mangey panther changing his spots
violently pacifist
undoing it all as he goes along
accidentally stumbling on one good song
same old new romantic
mish mash mush
flat singer
4th form poet
florid nonsense devoid of fun
choosy but no choice
edgy but edgeless
nervous but no nerve
chasing fame fortune youth praise
running from infamy poverty death blame
hes figured out a few modus operandi
he says hes changed
he changes what he says
no one can give him what he wants
a good hiding
place
he demands the sky
then he reigns on yore parade
he promises the moon
he delivers moontears
martyr neo poet beach bummed
sew called writer
a cadbury scoffing cad
a common or garden rake
a ne’er do well for e’er
a prick and its opposite
big head
small brain
king size ego
economy size talent
flanked by yes men who always say no
swayed by ill winds
nobody blows good
he read the bible but hes still sinning
he read the gita and hes still unenlightened
he read book of the dead and hes still living
he read the paper and hes still stupid
he looked in the mirror hes still there
his eyes are no colour at all
in america and canada his eyes are no color
if anything they are nondescript grey with a blueish stain
one eye narrower than the other
nice nose shame its red and pointy
(old public service nickname : needlenose)
teeth are the colour of counterfeit money
beard makes santa look like ziggy stardust
lips thinner than that white duke himself
ingrate but not in great
as successfull as solar power car at a texaco convention
as popular as a butcher at a vegan festival
as welcome as a faith healer at a drug store
useful as a eunuch at an orgy
the charisma of a lampost
one thing in common with beethoven : his hearing
like an albino in a blackout
like bull in an egg cup
all cloud no silver lining
hesitating in time wastes sleeping dogs broth
not man enough for meat
not woman enough for man
too childish for his betters
too old hat to the kids and lambs
strange to strangers
familiar to bad habits
undeserving
unappealing
unacceptable
cocaine and unable
hoarse and horse
a dopey dope
mushroom or fungus
a name to be misspellled
a voice like curtains rustling
a voice like treacle on creaky flawboreds
a voice like a used star salesman
a voice like a singing tree
a voice like a crooning piece of basalt
a sense of humour like genghis khan
a sense of mercy like caligula
about as rocknroll as a basket weaving lesson
about as entertaining as nothing
schlocky miasma
a vortex of tripe
a whirlpool of wubbish
tone deaf
love blind
small wander
anti miracle
farther christmas
long in tooth
short in temper
consolation prize
most unimproved boy
straggler lagging behind
also run
wished up
hope full
dope full
soft soap
hard shoulder
cold shoulder
cold reception
read it and weep