bear with me
a little longer
i may bite
i may growl
i may sulk off in the darkness of my cage
life hurts…ouch!
life breeds strange currents
life causes death
life on earth
life like love
move on move on
so easy to take umbrage
my thin skin which admits ideas
it also admits insults and sleights
it also admits the numerous implications of your looks and words
it also detects your futile need to compete
i am awake and perpetually on it
i walk through crowds of fools
i swim through rivers of lives
i casually master any skill
god appears before me as devil
devil appears behind me as god
friends betray us…then forgive them
enemies fling their barbs…oh never in person…
the world turns its back and moves on
as it were ever so
i sit down to count my blessings
when i am rudely interrupted
by news of more personal failures
my ships have gone down at sea
and thus my cargo is lost…i am fucking ruined
and ruinously
alas and alack….have someone executed or something
life is cruel
you can get over a scratch like that though, cant you
oh look…i used a comma
i promised you no commas and then bang….a comma
look,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that’ll make up for all the times i forgot
see i can make up the rules in my life
life life life
what what what is life, boy?
answer me, boy
answer me kilbey
kilbey: life is hard sir
sir : wheres the comma, boy
kilbey : sorry, sir…life is hard, sir
sir : and why is life so hard, boy?
kilbey : (mumbles) i dunno, sir
sir : what, boy ..?.you dont know….?
kilbey : because
sir : go on …..!
kilbey (becoming bolder) ; because….
sir : yes….?
kilbey : BECAUSE I WANT IT ALL, SIR!
i want warm days in winter, sir
i want the summer sun not to burn
i want to eat n eat n never grow fat
i want to hurt n hurt n never get hurt
i want to laugh n laugh but never cry
i want the stuff that killed everybody else but i dont wanna die
i want some more safe danger
i want to intrude on other people with my 8 year old self
i want to be loved n loved even tho i hate n hate
i want the moon but leave it in the sky as well
i want my coke and snort it
i want nights without sleep
and days without consciousness
i want to live forever but never age
i want to understand how i could be so misunderstood
i am no ordinary man
yet i am no extraordinary man neither
i applied for a job as a renaissance man recently
i saw an ad for one in the paper
i arranged an interview
i turned up with my paintings n records n books n blogges
i turn up with my fender bass and my big box of sennelier pastels
i turn up with my riffs and my racket
i turn up with my allusions n my fucking on a mat appear
i turn up with my white beard like a king from days of olde
i turn up with my mellifluous voice like a distant french horn
my magicians tapered fingers and soft grey eyes
with my flower power schtick and my jingo jive
with my groovy doo-dahs and my funky soy chicken
sit down and wait says the receptionist
but …but..but…stutters my mellifluous voice
sit down and wait she says
ok ok
i sitting there
i singing some painkiller
sir please be quiet says the receptionist
i singing then that olde song
the one i wrote about the hash star in amsters damn via lactea galactica
you know the one in the film about rudy neuman in miami vice, captain
everyone must know my little standard
everyone will know my little aussie classic
my mellifluous voice starts up
sometimes when this plaice gets kinda …uh…
he’ll see you now sir says the receptionist showing me in
you should be called a deceptionist i say
yes sir goodbye sir she says
i am in a large office
with fabulous views of the beach and the distant snowcovered alps
plush plush plush
the furniture has a soft sound
everything is muted or subdued
a big important (much younger) man sits there
he is dressed in an impeccable suit
it falls off his magnificent physique
like water off a ducks back
his hair is thick and lustrous
his face is perfectly lineless
his hands…tanned and manicured
his shirt …its…beautiful
well…?…he says
can you dance?
a little…i say
lets see he says
but …what about music…i say
what do you want ? he says
do you have once upon the seas of abyssinia by tyrannosaurus rex? i ask
instantly the strains of the song begin piped in somewhere
i dance around to the song
after about 20 seconds the music abrubtly ends
sit down please he says
can you sculpt…no?
i shake my head
opera?
no
read music…no…really..?!.hmmm…
can you tell jokes?
yes i say
go on then
there was a opium addict and a nun and jesus
all on this desert island and the addict says to jesus..
thatll do says the man
can you paint ? says the man
yes i say beginning to unroll my scrolls
in oils on canvas ? he asks
i shake my head sadly
i put my scrolls away
what about poetry ? he says skimming through my books
got any poetry? he asks
well uh…those you got there….were…um
oh? he says embarrassed….quite..
well can you sing? he says
i whip out my piano and i do that song
you know that famous one
that one that sold quite a few last century somewhere else
before i even get to the chorus he interrupts me
got anything sexy? he says and winks condescendingly
i do that other one the one with the good bits
yeah ok he says after a few bars
we sit in silence for a while
i write blogs too..i volunteer
yes yes he says
we sit in silence some more
i can see some rich guys down there on the beach
i can see some rich guys skiing on the alps
some other rich guy knocks on the office door
i see my interviewer motion to him : one more minute
look he says
i can offer you the job if youre willing to compromise a little
what should i do i ask hopefully
look he says
go out there
do some opera
do some big exhibitions
get some good reviews
get in some big productions
you know you could get a part of a male witch in wicked
try to take in some acting lessons
get a m.a. in lit
or get a phd in zoology or something
do some tv
do some theatre
write some more hits
and come back n see me when youre ready, ok?
ok i mumbled
goodbye the receptionist smiled
goodbye i said…see you soon i added
yeah…she softly laughed