posted on January 16, 2006 at 7:03 am

i need to define this whole thing
i need to talk to myself
i need to explain
i am confused
i have maybe been surprised by myself
if youre in this far
im gonna strip back a layer of skin
for ya
i told ya
i dont know what im doing here
(any “here” you like)
three months ago
i never even heard of blogging
i got no agenda
i got no bitter spleen
to vent particularly
why should i?
cos im a master chef who has one of the best vegan gourmet
restaurants in the world
you think that i fucking care that kfc sells
a billion bux more than the organic crunch?
i have never or will never delete a comment
the “straights” and bohemians thing…
a novel must have a protagonist
an antogonist
its not all black and white
nothing is absolute
everything is a mixture
i am large
i contain contradictions
(no anonymous of nowhere, that aint my own quote)
i know a guy whos a doctor
suit, nice house, all that
he would seem to be a “straight”
but he spends his life in malawi, vietnam, mongolia
looking into sanitary water conditions
i dunno
his heart is more bohemian
than a million clowns in kaftans smokin pot
this dude has defied my catergorization
another guy
this one long hair, musician, does yoga
but a mean n nassty little man
that ya’d like to strangle
where does he fit in?
i dunno either
of course i know its not us versus them
on some levels…
on some levels you could not deny
that there are certain over ambitious individuals
aspiring to western pseudo christian ideals
(cmon, as soon as the first kid dies
you can count jesus out!!)
who, trampling on spiritual values
(other than their own)
seem to find reasons
to invent nasssty weapons
start wars
exterminate nature
warp this planet
or maybe just
use up
burn out
the rest of us
now on a sliding scale
where keef richards = max boho
and gw bush= max straight
youd find many in the fuckin middle who….
hang on a minute….
it was a bit of a joke for fuck sake
and yet
the more i think about it
it aint a joke either
someone wrote in and said
we cant all smoke dope and paint pictures….
why not?
would the world stop turning?
wouldnt the whales be happier if we did?
wouldnt the elephants and tigers and rhinos and bears and dodos
and tassie tigers and the children in afgannystan
and actually most o the planet actually
im sorry
the war has been cancelled
theyre all painting and smoking dope.
smoking dopes another issue for some
who said it was illegal?
dont tell me it was a”straight”
trying to disenfranchise some one
didja know i got busted for attempting to buy smack
thats not quite right
i already had it
i’d gotten away with it
i was giving some money to the dude whod helped
me out
he had nothing to do with it
and the cops thought we was doing a deal
they always gotta give ya a new bogeyman
someone theyre protectin ya from
always some war on something
something to keep ya scared
while they fuck wid cha
for their own purposes
i dunno what they wanna acheive either
i just wanna smoke paint and dope a picture!
and puh leese
the cool guys and gals
i already said it
this is me
this aint no poem on the inside of starfish
i dont spit out dreamy bullshit all the time baybee
you cant come on my bloggy
and come the raw prawn with me
about ye olde arte
i do this for free
an coupla hours a day
for nothin
dont question my commitment to art
this is my diary
if you want something arty
see if michael stipe has got a blog
maybe hes spoutin’ prose all day and nite
yer free to say whatever you like
but remember
i gotta lotta xperience
i work on a lotta levels
i aint no black and white ranter
on some levels
but never a complete barreling oaf
just shouting out
his polemic
yeah i was caught with smack
am i ashamed
fuck no
embarrassed for my family, maybe
what a waste of time the whole thing was
much ado about nothing
a storm in a tea cup
but it distracted ya
long enuff
that while you were thinking
of naughty olde sk in jail
for druggies
some little kids
got their heads napalmed
or some poor bastard was being tortured in prison
(fill in yer own horror story here)
thats right
thats what all the bad news does
how about some good news
fireman rescues cat from tree
husband loves his wife
bumper crops of marijuana
growing in the ruins of the pentagon
bombers traded in for swimming pools
and libraries
defence budget blown on painting and ballet
secret police resign to become old age carers
greenpeace and amnesty go outta biz
cos theres no more need
i never lied to ya
i tried hard on every record for ya
not to talk down to ya
selecting only the finest original lyrics
and songs for your pleasure
i never dumbed it down
or took the easy option
i aint no bitter failure
i sold over 2 million records baybee
i know i aint the biggest
see if bonos got a blog if yer want that..
i dined with princes and
i dined with kings
and i aint ever been too impressed
you cant come on my blogg
and be holier
or hipper
than me
you can (theoretically)
be equal
but never more
if i come on your blogg
its the same
this is my life
this is my blog
i give it to you
not for money
for power
for fame
i dont wanna impress ya
but its nice when it happens
that i do..
dont give me yer worldweary stuff
i was doing worldweary
when you were still in
your mummies womb
dont give me tripe about rehab
i was in rehab before you
had yer first bud light
dont give me flowers
its cruel to cut em down
i dunno
this has meandered all over the place
i started off there
but ended up here
please dont pray for me
(god: why are ya praying for him
hes never worked in his life
hes got 5 beautiful daughters
hes got a load of lovely fans
who he loves
hes got a record deal
hes got a band
hes quite a nifty basse geetarist…
what the hell dya want me to do for him
hes laughing all the way to the blogg

thats it you lot
i dont care who i alienate with my mild jests
do ya think andre breton fucking cared?
or do you think baudelaire was worried
in case some small soul branded “paris spleen”
as bitter?
hell no
neither do i
if ya with me
i love ya
if ya not
what the fuck are you still doing here, sunshine
thats it
im gonna go bushwalkin soon
no bloggs maybe for a while

36 Responses to “crisis of faith/manifesto”

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