in the morning i awake over and over

dreams fall from me like streaming drops

i rise up and up  from my winterbed

into a pale and delicate sky that has no colour at all

before birth after death

each voice that said something unto me deeply

well every word used up like a wish

whispered fragments remain trapped in echo

snapped in two

times crust breaks as present moves away from past

the chasm of now

headlong into tomorrow unable to slow down for one second even

we all fall and fall

freezing and burning

something so important is happening too obvious to see it

my hammered head beaten flat and then into a mask

my shoulders which bear this weight of all possible worlds

my bones splinter like a glacier under the sun

my stomach empty like my mind

my hands which must belong to some other man

my jaw aching from silence

my rampant ego shaking the bars of his cage

my bemused muse hiding somewhere in side

each cloud contains endless lonelinesses

life hurtles along recklessly wrong and wrecked

the good stuff the bad stuff

i exist within the narrow margin of the broad picture

the active ingredients from an inert carrier

in touch with my inner child  hes a little bastard

in touch with my inner woman  shes a real bitch

in touch with my inner brute and hes gung ho like genghis khan

but meanwhile the earth careens unguided around our star ablaze

no one knows how it got here or where we’re going

no one knows why either

and thats because the explanation is beyond us/within us

and science says think this and religion says think that

a poet says be this and a pope says be that

and morning follows evening follows me home

cold silver rain and all

my bizarre life walks alongside forcing me to have perspective

there are a million things i need to know

but i must only know them in the right order

king must come after queen but ace can follow a king or two

its no good to get your epsilon before your delta honey

sweet omega must remain as the final word

i travel inside the guise of man but i am afraid of him

i seem like a person but i seem to me like i’m really something else

we offered you love ….someone sighs in the dark….

you see its all been a dreadful dreadful mistake!

i start up suddenly but strong hands restrain me

no hurry no rush says the quiet sad voice

but still something forces me through against my will

have i gone and died ….?

i appeal to whatever is out there

whatever it was that cared enough to create us all out of nothingness

i know it is something so incredibly minuscule  or so impossibly gigantic

our understanding of it reduced to words meaning nearly nothing

like everywhere at once and nowhere at all

only its implication can be really understood

me…. i’m a chip off some other old block

a cosmic ugly duckling swanning around these parts

you dont love me because im brilliant

you dont love me because im strange

you dont love me just because im older than all the  hills put together

no

so life is like that isnt it?

….whats that?

yeah whatever

whatever you like

(mutters under ‘is breath)

fuck……!