posted on June 13, 2008 at 9:16 pm

digression 1 (by popular demand)

me and john buser (pronounced buzzer!)
were standing in the park behind my place
a park….?
it was a few acres of long yellow grass
with some trees and swings n a slide
(aust name= slippery dip)(for trivia lovers)
any way me and buzzer are standing there
and i whip out me box of matches (as you do…)
of course the middle of a field with long yellow grass
where the temp is 100 fucking degrees
and it aint rained for ages
(in fact perfect “tinderbox” conditions)
buzzers staring at me laughing
i pull out a match and strike it
i toss it into the grass
the yellow straw about knee high…ha ha
it explodes into flame and i stamp it out pronto
fucking buzzer takes the matches and does the same thing
but he lets his patch burn a little longer
and he stamps it out kinda casually
as opposed to my frightened hurry
ok buzzer i’ll up the ante
a bigger burning patch a more sedate stamping out
buzzer goes one better again
he almost sets an uncontrollable patch burning
he starts off slow stamping it out
but in the end hes running round like a madman
he gets it out though…in the end
i take the matches and i flick off a burner into the grass
at the same moment
unknownst to me a little breeze picked up
my patch of burning grass rapidly became the size of a small kitchen
then the size of a bedroom
i just stood there
i was planning on showing buzzer a thing or 2
suddenly we looked at each other
and began stamping it out for all we were worth
too little too late im afraid
the breeze hit it and with a sound like WHOAMP!
the flames coalesced themselves
into a full on burn yer park n house down fire
it was going in all directions at once
the fire brigade arrived and the cops
all the neighbours at their back fences
most of the park was now a blackened smouldering mess
i was a little shocked n blackened myself
even my mother was quite lost for words
she made me have a bath
and sent me to bed at 2 in the afternoon
there was a happy ending
from the blackened scorched land
now with the yellow weedy strawlike grass gone
guess what?
lovely green lawn emerged ..there till this day
magpie hill, lyneham act
i was the parks inadvertent saviour

digression 2
seems we all had dark days at school
school is like a slice of society all crammed together
we all got bullied
i did some bullying too
moreoften of a verbal nature though
i must admit in all truthfulness
if i had had more physical prowess
i may have been as bad a bully as the worst of em
ah the pack instinct
i once saw big maria (a huge amazonian girl with glandular probs)
hold down a girl and try to force her twin brother to “root” her
down by the storm water drains
where lyneham high met lyneham primary
and 50 kids standing around
chanting do it! do it! do it!
it was like a drug….
yes we were supposed to be being educated
but what is the true purpose of education but to produce cogs
for the great machine
we fill kids heads up with our syllabus propaganda
we make em learn their stuff by rote
we make them spend their childhoods in dreary rooms
all in the end so they can work
no i dont have a better plan or solution
the wheels are in motion with society
as an idea i oppose the system and its education
as a parent i want my children to be educated
so they have a chance in this rat race we find ourselves in
and fuck, the rats are running even faster this year
bullying is much more of an issue in sweden
they hunt down bullies quick smart
in aust
in england
and probably the u.s. by the sound of it
the teachers seemed to turn a bit of a blind eye
especially in “my” day
its a fine line between a bit of mucking about
and bullying
and teachers werent always around everywhere anyway
how could they be?
i had some absolutely wonderful teachers
inspired n inspiring
i had some nasty repressed little turkeys too
everyone copped a bit of abuse sometime
but aint that life…
theres your education right there
i was learning valuable lessons
i was learning how to operate in groups
i was learning to socialize and negotiate
learning people stuff
the lessons were like a prop
all that bullshit i learnt….
its just that people get no choice..
youre born n they immediately inveigle you into the system
your parents turn you over for six hours a day
the system gets you ready
breaks your spirit under the classroom roof
gets you used to sitting still n processing info
gets you used to being part of a team
gets you used to the fact that you must surrender your “freedom”
when the system says so
is the system the best of all possible systems?
i dunno…its awfully hard to tell
we are steeped in the system
we are the system
no one can walk away from the system
to be outside the system terrifies us
we can only hope for gradual non-violent change
as the system becomes more reasonable …we hope
meanwhile there is that system
and its gonna take children years n years to learn to cope with it
the system sucks in greedily the good learners and clever kidz
these will be assimilated easily and rewarded well
unfortunately education leaves a swathe of misfits in its wake
people who were outraged and enraged by their 12 years of hell
school is tougher than anything outside except for jail
and that aint outside…
in real life you can just avoid the ratbags
in school theyre there all day long; theyre inevitable
they mock ya
they trick ya
they tease ya
they trip you up
they chase you home
they threaten n they punish
theyre at every school in all times
they are gonna be there
just like the nettles n thistles are in the fields
just like the sharks n jellyfish in the sea
nasty bullies
sneaky bossy bullies
crazy giantess bullies
hard physical silent bullies
cowardly bullies
sports star bullies
tricky bullies
friendly seeming bullies
irritating bullies
sarcastic bullies
pious bullies
angry bullies
mistaken bullies
sad bullies
martial arts bullies
body building bullies
reluctant bullies
sneering bullies
mouthy bullies
dancing bullies
multiple bullies
good bullies with bad bullies
girly bullies
tiny bullies
lucky bullies with big brothers
lonely bullies
macho bullies
dumb bullies
ignorant bullies
well spoken bullies from good families
enraged bullies
out of breath bullies
old bullies
cunning bullies
evangelical bullies
melodramatic bullies
ah the list goes on non
who has not been or been bullied by one of these?
yeah schools alright if youre a fish
i got no quarrel with teachers
all in all most teachers are pretty cool
i dont begrudge em their long holidays
imagine teaching kids like….me?!!

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