lamb

i am so angry

i ve been a stupid ive been a clown

i ve been trapped in my story

while scarlet stares at the ice on hornsgatan

and the christmas stars

its 5 am there lamb

what is she dreaming in her warm little bed

wheres my pet foot ? i ask her

its gone to sleep ….she says dreamily

hello i’m saying down a phone on a little beach

the ionian sea wraps a double bay

my shipwrecked posse gone down jammin’

i washed up on this career strand asking for help

we sit in the bath soaking in missions lotion

is anything happening to you ?i ask kathy

i look at her breasts in the dim candle light

i watch the warm glow hug at them

her nipples remain raspberry like

i sink down deeper into a suitcase with a false bottom

i buy some new shoes these will look good my sister had said

she could wear the same size as me

she found a shirt for me to wear

i put in on lamb

i looked in the mirror at some old cat in shorts n a fancy shirt

oh that looks good kathy said but i couldnt be sure

we walked around a bit together thru the monaro mall

what year is this mister someone asked me in thetis court

i turned to kathy but she had wandered off

the bathwater grew cold i climbed out i left her in there

my head was clouded my eyes all misted

i had displaced my weight in water

the front door was open

i stood in the night quite nude and innocent

the warm water turned cold on my skin

my skin moved over my bones and my flesh was as stone

kathy i said on the phone on the beach

but as i woke up my hair was full of sand

an old morning had dawned all sold or pawned

a tired grey sky

the same drab planes were coming in from hypothetical city

the sea churned and sloshed at the razor sharp shells

a fishermans boat a lone gull

no mermaids no mermen no treasure no exotica

a yacht on the horizon

a couple of the opera house sails

premature evening hovers like an ardent suitor

i see you in the darkness then lamb

i see you before me wandrin’ the fertile night

i still hear kathy splashing in her bath

i still see dad fighting in his war

the cards were to tell my fortune

and they did in spades

more ardent suitors on the phone for lamb

who followed me to school one day it was against the fucking rules

gee my new shirt looks good tho i say to my ‘maginary audience

kathy says theres skulls on yer shoes

boy she got things done fast

i forget how everything works

i cant find the instructions for my particular model

the fragrant evening caresses my tingling hide

music smeared across silence

flowers started to fade

alright

lets talk tomorrow