posted on June 4, 2007 at 5:25 am

im back
as i swim n do yoga
i say to my self
what canni feed the fiendss today?
mostly i never know
just like now
i know there are things you want to hear about
but my “creativity” wont go where i want it to
so i let it do what it wants
hence no heyday story
and no
50 things you didnt know about ttb
no mentions of commenters
and all that
i mean
theres so much i could do each day
i never foresaw the commenter thing
when i started
well i didnt foresee anything did i
a bad idea
more time in fronna a computer
jus’ what the doctor didnt order
but that peter podcaste
who is a good mate of mine
oh we’re like brothers really
peter ‘e kept saying
thou shalt blogge beeing
but we never discussed the comments
its grown outta nowhere
theres commenters
and readers who never comment
and others still
one thing that is simply laughable
is some notion that this whole thing was started
so i could bathe daily in the glow of praise
or that i wanna cultivate a clique of little beeings
all saying yes master
oh its so far from the truth
you gotta beleave it
i aint into it
im just saying it for the people who occaisionally imply it
please feel free to do as you please
and let the others all do the same
so im just gonna write for a while here
about something
about playing a guitar or something
about writing some songs i wrote once upon a time
these songs i was singing to myself
in the cold grey of some northern winter
and in the half light of my sydney room
and i was coming up with these bits n peaces
i would scribble it down on a mental note
and put it in storage
all my adventures
in italy
in brazil
in america
in scandanavia
as i wandered this wide world
and i rambled and now i just ramble
sitting in a cafe in rome
ordering some gnocchi n red wine
howcome every thing here tastes so good
the bread just on its own…
so im eating this bread
and i dunno who im talking to
some promoter some fan
some eye-talian geezer
and im talking talking
and hes talking n talking
but in my head
im writing this tiny little song
and im imagining something
a melody line
a wonderful night outdoors
an avenue in paris in 1899
lanterns people talking and laughing
oh the long dead women
in my song i start to feel so sad
for all those women from that evening who were oh so alive
each one ….not a trace remains
no one who would remember them still alive
and in my mind i play a minor chord
and in italy at the restaurant the guy is saying
but steve blah blah blah
and slurping down the redwine
and im vibrating to the music of the eternal city
and inside the music takes a downturn into
heavy handed maudlin burlesque
a big guitar descends down n down as it hits the chorus
another part of my mind is uncertain
but im trying to concentrate a little on what the guy said
blah blah blah he said
oh i say
how do you say that in italian?
blah blah blah? he says
yes i say
oh its untranslatable
im just saying it cos i know you werent listening to me
yes i was say i
what was i saying then? he says
you were saying that …….um
then ploogy drives up on a vespa w/ an italian girl
the dinner arrives
we even smoke some hash
its outdoors n no one notices
we play a kinda bowling game next to the restaurant
and ploogy bowls a ball at the guys feet
and the guys really miffed
inside the song is still going
and im remembering a lot of details
i hear it all the french horns the lot
the roman night envelopes us in its bonhomie
more redwine
more hash
some more people turn up
we keep on bowling this weird game
in this little track
its so unlikely
and i keep writing in my head
and keep track of all the other voices
the ones saying youre pathetic
the one saying youre perfect
the ones saying who cares
the ones saying ooh la la
you can imagine
im sure
all that input
im trying to juggle it all
im trying to understand it
im trying to forget myself
pages fly off a calendar
and the screen whirls around n around
its all gone from me
just like that avenue
heading towards that memoryless state
that possessionless place
that great equalizer
hurtling along changing character
shedding my skin
putting on another lifemask
and now todays gone forever too
i hoped for so much
to get so much done
never mind being
tonite more work on martin kennedy song
tomorrow more work on so lo record
keep wrestling with myself
keep cowering from my shadow
my memories crowd in on me now
but soon one day
i will have to relinquish them
and stand naked before space and time
choose a new costume
and jump out of the box
and say
ha ha ha!
its me
im back!

72 Responses to “egotistical ramblings tuppence ha’penny a barrel”

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