i’m my dream i live this life

and in my life i live this dream

and now my mind is truly blown away down the street

asleep at the deal i got ripped off again and again

but who is the real loser?

the more i shot the more i missed

the more i missed the less i could bear to shoot

eventually the arrows i loosed well all were lost

on a train to the northern beaches to meet with my friend or

on a plane sitting in business class i was trying to chat up the female pilot

she came out and and talked to me too

except we hit some turbulence over the indian sea

an unexpected jolt and i wake up in sydney and its freezing

the flowers in the vases wilting inexorably

the dust and cold clutter

drift away then i dream im on the phone to someone

going round and round and round

im speaking some other language

i cant understand what im saying but this is how i am anyway

jotting down phrases to regurgitate in songs and poems

i strumming my guitar in Cosa Met in Thailand

in a cluster of cottages just back from the sea

someone yells out to shut the fuck up..!

but its too hot to sleep and my friend wants to hear her song

we walk down the beach but the water is so warm

there are no sharks she says as i gingerly enter the black oceans maw

after our swim i pick up my guitar and in some strange time signature

the guitar is detuned now and im too out of it to get it back in tune

i like it just as much like that anyway says my friend more gone than me i guess

sing me the song you wrote about me she says quietly

as we sit on the deck chairs still on the beach

oh there are so many i am saying in the 90 degree heat of the night

oh just play that nice one…you know...she breaks into a little imitation of her song

oh you mean this one but the music and the words come out all wrong and she frowns

you really disappoint me she says sighing

and looking out at the black sea with its reflected equatorial stars

suddenly the deck chair collapses and i’m back on the plane

the stewardess comes up and gives me a note which said

this is your captain speaking

was enjoying our conversation gimme a bell after we land

and (obviously) a phone number scribbled down

one of the other guys sitting next to me says

you gotta be joking man..!

but one of the other guys says

oh leave him alone youre just jealous..!

and the other guy just raises his eyebrows quizzically and says nothing

before we get to Bangkok i am falling asleep tho

dreaming i had woken up in sydney and i was old and cold and told id been asleep

i was just a junky having a fix and nodding off again with my partners in crime

there was an actor and a girl bass player and a solicitor and the dominatrix

and someone who i guess was unemployed but was scoring our stuff and taxing it

we were all sitting round discussing all the great junk we’d shot over the years..

someone is saying

what about that great shit that everyone out west was ODing on..? 

everyone laughed

not as good as that pink stuff from afghanistan tho

everyone sighed

i nod off eventually listening to that old david neil song oh honey

oh honey dont matter dont flatter yourself too much

its so funny now how my touch dont shatter you no more

and the years we spent apart and the years we spent alone together

i never called you honey and i never spent your money 

now dont call me your fairweather friend

or something like that

i thought about david and his quick ruination

the music the mayhem said the article in the NME

when i wake up the plane has almost landed

there are still thousands of people at the airport although its now 11o’clock at night here

it takes forever to find my bag and get through customs

a taxi takes us to our hotel weaving through tiny streets eventually

there are people cooking food along the side of the street

its a real strange smell

we get to the hotel actually its pretty good

its got an aviary of exotic birds outside and fountains and stuff

we all get our keys

whos coming out for a drink n a meal? says banga pearson the tour manager

not him tho…straight on the phone to the captain

he points at me and he sneers in his broad aussie way

she loves that song oh honey i say and shrug

but you never wrote that…david neil fuckin wrote that! says banga

yeah but she thinks it was me i think wickedly to myself

i dont fuckin fancy ‘er you can have ‘er says banga dismissively

and we all go up to our rooms

just as he said i would

i pick up the phone

i dial the hotel where shes staying and i get put through to her room

oh hello you she says i almost lost my job over you..

oh fuck i say

yeah exactly she says

we chat for awhile

she keeps saying how much she loves that song oh honey

i wrote it for you i say ironically but shes canadian or something

and my irony escapes her

listen im really tired but tomorrow im going to get a bus then a ferry to cosa met

she says huskily and yawning

yes..? i say

come n meet me here tomorrow and join me then  she laughs

but wow youre a captain and everything i gush feeling suddenly overwhelmed

yeah and youre the guy who wrote oh honey my favourite alt country rock song

is that the only thing you like about me?  i ask sadly

no but it sure helps she says and makes a soft kissing sound and hangs up

luckily i have a few days before rehearsals start

the next day banga wasnt very happy with me disappearing tho

he was sitting round the pool having a beer and perving at some french women

if she wasnt the fuckin captain you wouldnt be going

and if she knew you didnt write oh honey she never would have invited ya 

said banga

and his words hurt for maybe there was a grain of truth in there

i tuk tuk to her hotel which is much nicer than ours

boy she looks different out of her uniform tho

i hardly recognise her as she comes out with her suitcase

i give her a quick kiss on the cheek and our cab pulls up to drive us to the bus

we drive along and she says an address to the driver

we stop outside a little restaurant

whats going on? i ask

im getting us some stuff for our trip she says and winks and says sssh!

after about 2 minutes she comes running back out

ok lets go to the bus station now she says to the driver staring straight ahead

we only just catch our bus driving to the ferry to Cosa Met

we sit together down the front as the bus bumps over the roads down to the coast

after awhile she puts her head on my shoulder and goes to sleep

and shes dreaming of that song oh honey 

i can almost hear it in her dreams

 

 

 

 

tbc soon