here i really am

its 4 57 on monday afternoon sept 13

the birds singing and chirping

tyrannosaurus rex on my i-box

40 years ago since my dad bought me my first bass

80 bucks it cost a lot in 1970

56 you cant say thats not old

56 you cant say that isnt getting on a bit

a proper venerable old geeza

old moondoggy

i cast my eye back over my lifes work

it bores me

it takes much work to focus in on what i did

its done its over

most of its pretty good

thats why you love me

thats why you bother really

those songs

all those songs

oh my lord

500 or 600 hundred out there?

mostly good too

not that much dross

you see i aint no first tier genius

i am a guy who analyses the top tier geniuses

and i reassemble in my own image

so deftly have i blended them that it indeed appears to be me

and maybe it fucking is

and maybe i’m amazed by how much i really need you

ever since i was very little i was obsessed by special songs

special to me that is

songs that had some inexplicable power

songs that cast some unearthly spell

i was searching for these songs

and when once apprehended

i tried to crack the songs open

to see how it all worked

this is a kind of genius of course

a kind of mechanical genius

to be able to parse songs

to be able to figure out how that spell was created

naturally when it came time to do my own thing

this is would be my specialty

and songs are on the way all the time

a barrage of songs until the day i go down singing

thats a given

i guess the church is starting up soon

some recordings to be made etc

music everywhere

i dont want to stop

my daughters ring from stockholm to wish me a brief hbd

the doodles are at art class

scarlet with her mother

voices arguing in a room across the road

a big fat guy on his balcony in a white singlet smoking

an apricot coloured sun through incredibly subtle blue-greys

music music music

40 years since i first started bass

every now n then you make a great leap forward

it all becomes suddenly clearer

what youre doing and why youre doing it

the twin pursuits of money and excellence

to make a living by making the best of all possible musics

you got the church dedicated to that for 30 years

so i did ten years on my own

in saga

in precious little

in baby grande

then 4 years groupless

then 1980 the church

i never totally planned the church to be the way it is

i got lucky knowing pk n mwp

then of course ploogy who for a while was an amazing drummer

a real star a boy wonder

for these guys to play i came up with some special songs

special for me maybe special for you

i guided by my analytical mind

which dissects songs it loves

and puts them back together new

almost as good as knew

i keep on writing em with others or on my own

its what i do

yeah i should be good by 56

i expect to be good by now

its a given

why do so many others lose their edge?

blunted by fame and dough i suppose

not problems for your humble hero

just hanging in there

but my songs are still reliably nifty creations

i surprise myself with the many tiny allusions within illusions

well thats it folks

thanks to my well wishers

56 not out