posted on March 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm

the problem
the solution
self obsession
ego stroker
but how could i have done it
without kilbey
i couldnt just cut off the bits i didnt like
or could i…?
can ya have bob dylans songs without his weirdness?
can ya have kilbeys trip without his malarkey?
not yet
or stay home
listen to the records
imagine i was st francis assisi
listen to me apologising for what?
being an uncertain awkward stubborn young man?
its not like i killed or robbed or even punched anyone
i was….occaisionally rude and thoughtless
obviously i’m remorseful or i wouldnt write about it now
anyone actually reading my blog
is supposed to understand that i am not a perfect man
i was unpleasant in some ways if you tried to deal w/ me
but the people dealing with me were often unpleasant as well
music biz types begging for some comeuppance
i treated most nice people nicely
i’d say i wasnt the worst bloke you ever met
but i was flogging some trip about
and oh how it tires me now to think of it
i tell it how i saw it
i dont try n recast myself as man of the people
i was never that
i was always nice when meeting someones parents or children
i never kicked any animals either
i was always clean
my nails were never black
my ears washed behind
i said thank you everytime
i tried not to make the ladies cry…..i could never bear it at all
i was very envious
the biz was all based on an actual index
ie the charts
and the charts were real important in the biz
and you could instantly see
you were much bigger than these
and much smaller than them
why were we obsessed with bigness n smallness?
because the church was our team…right n wrong
and we wanted to beat the other teams
thats the nature of it….or it was to us
we hated to see bloody awful teams up the top
but we also were happy when some of the underrated bands
got some accord
we loved a slew of aussie n indy bands n we mentioned em often
we just bloody hated the 80s rubbish
oh god
there was so much rubbish in the eighties
the church was a beacon of fidelity to the glorious golden period
when rock was fucking cool
and exciting
and the lyrics were …you know…kinda poetic n meaningful/less
and the blokes were blokes but with long hair n cool guitars
like stones dylan beatles
i LOATHED the thompson twins n all that horrible bloody row
i LOATHED spandau duran boy george anything like that
i hated the sentiment
i hated the look
i hated their stupid voices
the shallow vacuous words repulsed me
people say what books didja read back then?
the surrealist manifestos by breton
the sutras of patanjali
herman hesse and appolinaire
i read the bible i read the koran
i read the pali sutras of buddha
i read satre and i read biographies of stars
the lyrics of the eighties were anathema to me
consider my first lines on the first song on the first record

in the empty place
the soul stripped bare
of skins and heart
and i come apart
in your icy hands

you see
ok its not fucking shakespeare
but its not shakespeares sister either
most of the eighties
i say most
cos there obviously were good things too
but most was bloody rubbish
thats why people laugh when they hear it now
oh ho ho how funny ….
to think we used to like that stuff….?!
well i didnt
i was trapped in a decade of imbecility and i couldnae get out
and you wonder why i was a little weird
but of course
you dont wonder that
you know i’m weird
you accept me as being weird
cos weird is good, right
or you got the 21st century at your fingertips
you cant have the weird without the weird
you cant have it
not both ways
i tried
but you cant

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