posted on November 19, 2007 at 1:50 am

i am the killer who lives to die
i am the point at which there is no point
i am vanished into your mind
i am registering as pleasure
yes yes you think
pleasure lovely pleasure
you let me into your head
into your deep mind
into your dwindling faded memories
and distorted daydreams
imagine me
in the white robes of a devotee
as i glide over rivers of thought
mountains of ideas
notion oceans
why do you do this you ask
i dont know i answer
how did you get in you ask
the songs i answer
the songs opened you up
why did you write that song you ask
i wrote it for you i answer
and to make money i quickly add
and because i needed a new song
of course
i dont know why i even like you you say
me neither i say me neither
in the library surrounded by the gardens
fountains statues small pagodas
you meet me again
you feign surprise
introduced by one of your mere inklings
i slip and
i spill my eyes on your bare shoulders
the music stops
a deathly hush has fallen
who are you to come in here and do that you demand and
i dont like that song anymore im tired of it you add
i dont like the power you think you have you continue
i dont read your stupid blog and i dont comment
the place slowly empties
i see some famous people in your mind
i see napoleon b and some others
now theyre all leaving
leaving the soiree in the salon
or whatever it was
and i
i unannounced
i unbidden
yes i was uninvited like the sodding clouds
innocent me
standing there
my cheeks reddening
eyes brimming with warm tears
my hands uselessly at my side
where are all my smart rejoinders now
ah vocabulary deserts me when i need it most
it just deserts
what can i say to you in your own mind
why should i justify anything at all
a plankton
like you
sucked into the jaws of the whale-like time
strained through hospitals schools and crematoriums
our age tells us how to behave
and limits us to its narrow precepts
mother says this
father says that
the law says dont do it
the night says go on and do it
the woman said too much a man
the man said too much a woman
handed my uniform
told who to be
modeled moulded and mixed up
bitter and twisted
shaken and sturdy
battered on whatever metaphor im searching for
crushed under the weight of words
the hit n miss parade
drugs rotting my own mind from within
now i can barely string a cohesive sentence together
im ugly as sin but not half as much fun
im beset by all manner of psychic attack
i believe animals talk to me and lo they do
i can hold my breath as i sing
i see things that really are there
i am approached by aliens and offered tempeh
i listen to music with 16 bars
i eat rice with rice milk and rice syrup
i meditate on the 7 wounds of the demi-god phooie
i stand in the oomoo boomoo position
i never win but i never lose
i like 2007 its better than being dead
i avoid things that hurt more than avoiding them
i pretend im nice though its very hard
i wish i was much much sexier because then i’d be happy
i envy everybody doing better than me which is everybody
i waste time everytime the time being is being timed
im sorry i had to speak my mind
in your mind
dont mind me
im of a mind
having mined your mind
to declare
this find

33 Responses to “free form freak out”

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