54
yep
count em
54 years old
today
calloo callay
i outlived my father
i wish he was here
what a life
what is it all trying to tell me
well i dunno
i can see now how this life
will be a fragment
that my soul will weave into its tapestry
somewhere on the tip of the next guys tongue
will be my fucking name
or maybe its better not to remember…
i dont know whether to laugh or cry at myself
materially…i got nothing
nothing at all
a debt to the taxman
and a quick piss and a look around
no job
no “skills”
no mortgage
no insurance
no super
no plan
no idea
no clue
no nothing
i have arrived at this late stage of the game
still naive and silly
still ripe for fleecing
still not wise or venerable or anything
still railing against the stupid world
who cant see
that what they really need is me
painkillers out there
i aint writin’ about it anymore
kilbey kennedy coming up soonish
maybe painkiller in melbourne at xmas
triffids in mel n perth next year
cant wait for that
jesus
i’m fifty four
look in the mirror
oh ….no thanks..
yeah you look like a king from the olde days
yeah you look like yer dad
yeah you got lines and wrinkles alright
jesus man
yer only 6 years off sixty
yer not doing too bad
in some ways
you just had the best gig of yer life th’other nite
you are not a total catastrophe
oh i have the yurge to do new things
dont wanna
dont wanna sing those old songs anymore
dont wanna
wanna sing my new ones
the ones we were writing yesterday
the droning burning blazing stuff
this is where i fit in
eternally awkward as some showbiz drongo
i am a fucking renaissance man
as hilarious as it may seem
have a good laugh cos i’m laughing too
i think i’m fucking hlarious
you’ll turn off yer computer in a minute
but i’m stuck with this joke permanently
and you know
even you most dyed in the wool sk fans gotta admitty
i cocked it all up for myself
yes i did
arrogance drugs and bad timing
i frittered it all away
too many mediocre nights
when i just wanted to get high
i didnt care
it showed
who wants someone that doesnt care…?
and now
and now
its like my life has undergone such massive upheavals
i am destabilized
i am no one in particular
no one you would really know
i carry my own inbuilt obsolescence
but boy
oh boy
i know such a lot about music and words and sound and stuff
i can draw and i can paint and whatever
i understand the principles
i can project my thoughts via my work
what is it i want to say
simply this
this is a wonderful life
everything
everything is miraculous
my five daughters
for example
my true fans and fiendss
among which please number yourself
i have wonderful people like eekie mouse on my side
i have the lovely sue sea
who takes care of things
gee nunn who helps out with poetry advice
trevor boyd for nsew and michael farrant who does the
maven
i thank now
and i thank always
prof klk
a true medieval style patron of the yarts
klk..its hard to say how incredible you have verily been
kevin n from olde hungary
he put on a tour for us in europe
and he covered the shortfall
and boy if you saw us on that tour
spare a thought to kevin who put his euros where his mouth was
(at least we are still friends tho…!)
on my fifty fourth birthday
i hail my 2 brothers
who i fucking love like ..err…brothers
i havent always been the best big brother
ive been a selfish rotten git
imagine growing up with me….no, dont
my mother joycie of course
who i adore like crazy
juicy wallop
now a jolly olde authentic granny type…when needed to be
i thank a handful of guys
who have been real friends to me…
people who i can just be myself around
no need to pretend
martin krall from sweden
who is the nicest bloke around
polinski whose a lovable bastard
ricki maymi who is a virgo which explains a lot
bel frank and dub frank
totally different but both diamond geezers
martin kennedy actually too
i feel very at home in his company
mark s from sthlm
and sarah the little lord
my only real girl friend
i guess i’m a bit too blokey or something
and while i thank people
i’d like to thank a certain floridian chap mr pe
who swooped in
and bought about 15 of my paintings in one go
and helped me get thru a bleak august
thank you sir!
all my subscribers …
thank you
your generosity has been unbelievable
thanking you for continuing to make this all possible
i thank my wife
but she knows i’m pretty happy with her
i thank the people i play with
i thank the people i play to
and coming up oct 7th
my debut as a more spoken word type gig in glebe sydney
my plays coming back too
soon
the emc quietly knockin’ out masterpieces
the train kept a rolling all night long
you play the hand thats dealt ya
you fly…and you fall
yeah i’m grateful to a whole loada people
people who fucking came thru for me
i wish i could return all your trust
with something spectacular….
i wish i made millions
and could put you all on salaries
and have you working for me
nelg is an example
you could put him on 3 or four grand a week
and hed bee bizzy all the time
belfrank too i’d like on my payroll
maybe olde mem too
tim powles is a lovely bloke
a little devious
but always lovely
no painkiller without him…..
william said yesterday
that when tim n i play bass n drums together
we have an immediate connection…wel yes we do
he is an amazing drummer
pk n mwp ..old comrades in arms
is this what its all about on yer birfday
thanking a loada people without whom….
still missing dad
grantley
uncle gary and auntie irene
still cant believe mattys gone
oh how i’d love to know where he is right now
of course
i ‘d like to thank the god of all this here creation
who figured it all out
who set it in motion
who holds the spheres in their places
whilst dreaming universes a million per second
man
i got a lotta chances
i guess im poor but im happy
im sore and im sorry
but fuck i’m still here
n i made fifty fuckin’ four
and i aint no wimpy olde wanker in his biz suit
workin’ for the ubiquitous man…
advice for youngsters
who wish to arrive at this advanced age
as intact as possible
dont ever eat anything dead
dont drink too much but a little is alright…a little!
dont eat cheesy things
no mobile phones
no microwave
avoid eggs
exercise hard
walk swim jog
get out there baby and fuckin’ get on it
cos its hard to get it off once its on
do yoga you idiots…what are ya waiting for
yoga has reinvented me
yoga in everything i do
yoga rejuvenation
yoga discipline
yoga grace
yoga for breakfast lunch and tea
yoga will guide you
its guiding me i guess…informing me
painkiller is proof of pudding
my best record ever…or what….?
yeah
i aint run out of tricks yet
you’ll be surprised
i promise i’ll go down swinging
happy birthday to everybody
kilbey…now officially ancient