posted on January 14, 2007 at 8:29 pm

‘ere i am, then
waiting for my old age wisdom
munday morning 7 am
aurora gets out of bed
still half asleep
she looks like a giant rabbit
she tries to sit on my lap
sorry, girl
but im writing my blogg
she shrugs n goes back to bed
outside the omni-present mynah birds click n whistle
i imagine theyre organizing their days
(in an avian new jersey accent)
we got a get a few birds down to the front garden
and sort out them pigeon and beaky
take care of it
what the fuck lenny…? those freakin’ seagulls…
i mean im sittin’ home in the nest last nite
eatin some worms, takin it easy
and my brother-in-law, peckah, comes over
and he tells me that some sea gulls just
got the last of that pizza we found….!!!??

anyway enuff of that
yesterday was argy bargy day
it wears me out
waste of time
i have been the most argumentative bastard ever
but now
i avoid em like the plague
like cigarettes or drunks
ya see when i was younger
so much younger than today
i thought that seeing
as i had a fast mind n i knew lotsa words
what better use to put it to than to argue
argue argue
argue-ments which usually became personal
but my nasty self loved to be let out of ‘is cage
and once he was running amok
it was hard to get him back under control
no i abhor arguments
i detest em
i loathe em
i try to walk away
i try to….
but i get reeled in
i get caught up in my own self righteous blather
my sly back-stabbing adjectival clauses
you wanna be taken apart n feel worthless…?
oh fly those winged words , never to be forgotten
those words you gonna live to regret
(kilbey pauses, eats a bunch of grapes
and ponders the pointless damage inflicted by
wagging tongues…his own, naturally
at the front of his many confused thoughts)
ive said so many stupid things..
so’s everybody
i guess
i wish i could hold my tongue
i wish i could speak always in constant measured quiet tones
i wish i could refrain from quick n nasty rejoinders
i wish i could ignore all the little implied insults
i wish i could heal rifts
i wish i could always think of sumfing fucking nice to say
or hold my bloody tongue if i cant
but yesterdays argy neither about or caused by me
i’s just one of the civilian casualties
caught in the fallout of an explosion of frustration
and a fallout of unresolved old malarkey
boo hoo
poor olde killer
hes too olde n tired for arguing anymore
and he wants out
but you dont walk away from king bicker like that…
so today
its beyond my control
i’ll be contemplating the blue of infinity
behind my grey eyes
and thinkin’ of better times

people been writing that they enjoy being here
on my bloggepage and reading each others comments
i feel guilty cos that was never an intention
it accidentally happened..
while i was just mucking about with an online diary
probably aimed more at self aggrandizing than anything else
such is life
good things can come of bad things
as well as vice versa
if i write a song to make my self feel clever
or to make money
or just as an exercise in songwriting
and someone genuinely loves it..
what does that mean?
i used to say i took no responsibility for my songs
and i think thats still the case
what is a blogge
if not a long song
with no sound
and the words dont rhyme
i guess theyre completely different
i am thanking my subscribers
who put their money where their mouths were
and paid their olde pal
your contributions are appreciated
and i will keep trying to
keep you
who knows
i may even do omething good…?

37 Responses to “hard n fast”

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