posted on June 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm

i piece together a story bit by bit
everything is inside
everything is already within
i looked everywhere
out in the tuscan dusk
swooning under moons of musk
amongst a coral shoal
darting with the bream and sole
deep in a woodland grove
i burned a fatted calf to jove
outside the walls of troy
slaughtered with the hoi polloi
i am the wanderer
wander wander wander
wish i knew what i was lookin’ for…
i had some gold and i lost some gold
i had some powers and i lost some powers
i killed and i saved
i drowned in women
i was thrown into the sky by volcanic ambition
i was persecuted and i hid amongst the unclean
i hurled myself into dangerous mysteries too late to see the price
i am eternal
i go on and on and on
i never win but i never completely lose
i have commandeered this body to sing my song
i sing my song to the glory of the hand that shaped me
be it i was dreamed up along with everything else you see
i came dancing out of vishnus beautiful blue head
a speck of dust in a field in the background of his dream
oh i wanted life though
oh i wanted to experience….everything
oh i wanted to touch and taste
explore and kill
yes kill
a killer i became
and i loved to kill
and i killed for the love of it
not for love itself
can you see me now all covered in gore
why did we kill
why did we kill
i woke up in a fever once
i screamed out
why did we kill all those men
why did we cause all those women to be widows
what good has it ever done
i sat up in my tent
the men were all asleep or under some spell
i called out for sword
i called out for my gun
i called out for my dagger and my axe
i called out across the fields of some persian babylon
or was it germany where we killed under blue skies
i called out my orders into the void
steady lads
easy now boys
we can fuckin’ do em
we can fuckin’ sort this lot out my lovely boys
we’ll fuckin’ send em home sore, eh lads
hold that flank there tighter boys c’mon keep it up
sergeant whats that fuckin’ man doing there…?
steady boys….archers….wait for it
get those fuckin’ thracians back in line, timo
or i’ll cut off your fuckin’ balls…!!
alright boys ..see you all in bloody ‘ades
the void was silent
the silence inflamed me
the bastards kept on coming
we speared em
we shot em
we split their bleeding ugly heads open
suddenly they were all over us
i bellowed in rage
and with my javelin i hooked a man by his eye
and flung him into the mud
and his shade shrieked like a girl as it went underground
to the cold and lonely places
some bastard was ‘acking at my arms i couldnt feel a thing
i reached out and with my bare hands crushed his face
and i was delighted in my work
a strangeness came into my eyes
the battle had slowed down to me
it seemed ages as i watched an arrow leave its string
arcing over the screaming soldiers
plunging deep into soft warm flesh
in the space that the slow time gave me
i pirouetted and swayed
and i cut at my leisure
i stepped in before they even knew i was there
as i moved in my own time and no one elses
and i was a true artist then
lovely deep thrusts
aesthetic feints that described wondrous geometries
and little small subtle movements with my embedded knife
tickling their hearts with my mournful blade
and then one day
youre moving through the carnage
slow and cool like a panther
hey youre an old hand at this
you can afford to be careless
you take your pick of the fighting
you dispatch heroes and cowards with a sneer
then you see him
and hes moving towards you really slowly
slowly in some trance he approacheth you
a slender dark man
a man younger than you
whirling his sword
aiming his gun
kicking his feet
throwing his stars
flashing his eyes
crooning his song
and you know he is the one…
no no no
everything shudders back into the realtime
for you and everybody else maybe
but not for him
dancing moving avoiding delivering
and fear takes away your breath
steals the very air from your mouth
and no no
you just want to go home
theres been a mistake
doesnt anybody understand
theres been a terrible mistake
im steve kilbey
cant anybody hear me
but the warrior is as close as this
he strikes at you
you dismally parry
and the shock of the clash shoots up your arm
and punch punch punch
his fist mangles your face
oh you have no will to go on now
he moves in super slowness
his blade in single framed seconds
silver and red against blue
and then in
in in in and in
and then
last thing
you see his smile
a sad weary smile
a cough
and he lets you fall into the dirt

21 Responses to “heartseeker”

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