posted on July 17, 2006 at 5:43 am

im in
life at last
im free
im here baybee
ive made it safely
oh hollywood take me in yer smoggy arms
into your hands i commend my spirit
im sitting in a bar in my hotel
the others in the band
everyone else pretty much korean
we just ate a korean restaurant
there was plenny o spice
and some gruesome fish
everything pickled n hot as all f&*%
we say wheres dessert
and we get these bowls of tepid water
with bits of burnt rice in it
is it sweet we ask
sweet asks the waitress
she aint heard that word in this restaurant before
she laughs … oooo’
it really actually tastes like dishwater with burnt bitso’rice
maybe its a joke we think
later i divide n work out the bill
including the tip
thats your job for this tour says tp
just so you have yr own job
isnt being minister of esoteric affairs enuff?
do they really think i need another job?
the devil finding work for kilbeys idol hands
well the good news is i got to fly bizness class
the customs men n women did not manhandle me one bit
tho the lady gave me an interesting look
when she punched in my passport number
(british empire 666)
and realised i was a hippy ratbag
with a visa
and i was let be
la is flat n warm n hazy
my room is ok but i look out at the hollywood sign
up there in them holly wood hills
in them hollywood nights
people this is it
yeah theres new york its larger paler opposite twin
the two pull america in a ying yang relationship
the two cities could hardly be more different…..
you think even an olde committed bohemian like me
couldnt find a nice spot somewhere in the canyon
to eat freakin’ tofu n do pranayama all day
and pretend that the rest didnae exist?
hey la n hollywood if ya listnin’
i am your true son
take me in
take me back
shower me in money
and a spanish style mansion
listen fiendss
i reckon when you all push me to # 1
on the bloggcharte
i reckon la gonna squeeze me to her ample bosom
and i’m gonna host my own esoteric tv show
a monster hit
the kilbey family will become the thinking mans osbournes
adventures of a stoned turkey in malibu with cute twin kids
who say oracular type things
a cute long suffrin wife
a big fat baby
and occaisional guest starring the twillies
who will bring northern angst and swedish chic
whatta mixture
its gotta bee a hit
how long before my blogg becomes a movie…?
julia roberts is already auditioning for nks part
you read it here first

anyway enough of that
im in the city of the angels
im happening im hip
i got a hotel with a pool n airconditioning
theres a mcdonalds across the street
theres a grande piano in the foyer which plays itself
theres a porter keeps giving me a knowing wink
(dont ask me ….)
theres chandyleers n vases of flowers
everything is yellow or beige or gold
thers tvs playin a video channel that only plays clips from the 80s
marbled coffee tables, leather couches
outside the unlucky ones huddle in doorways
or push their trolleys of plazzy bags
people look at ya twice on the street
my naivete is like sign goin’ off over my head
i could be easy pickings out here
i see a mexican guy in an internet cafe
pulling drugs outta the bandage round his knee
and sorting them out
he looks up and sees me staring at him
while i wait for my avocado sandwich
his eyes quiz mine
am i a cop
or a customer
for a moment a deafening chorus of voices
start screaming in my head
i start getting ready to score
the adrenalin rush
the sick excitement in the pit of the stomach
it all lasts a nano sec
then i look away
contact broken
bugger that for a joke
i aint getting back in the ring for another swing
i cant believe i used to go down badde nayborhoods in la
i mean real badde fiends
and cop dope
and sit around and score n get ripped off
and deal with this whole thing
thank god
it no longer has any hold on me
just vestiges of desires hard to extinguish
but dont worry fiendss
i bought my sandwitch and split
the hcrhcu were havin’ a meeting
i tuned in n out
some hilarious vids from ye olde 80s
duran duran
oh lord…
her name is rio blah blah blah
how fuckin’ abysmal
empty nothingness sung sharp painfully
cmon now fiendss
dont tell me ya dug these turkeys
yeah we started a tour with em
in 1982
but it quickly became clear that their gurly gooseball fans
had no place in their shallow hearts for aussie hippies
n unguarded moments
so we bailed
fuck em !!
what a bunch o tossers

funny footnote
everynight they dragged steve harley on to do make me smile…

why am i reminiscing london 82
when im in the future in la
i gotta machine that remembers 14000 songs
and its twice as small as a casstte walkman
i got tiny little speakers
which sound better
than my monstrous old stereo
this is california
look homeward angel
there is no weather outside
its about 75 degrees no wind
the lights light up the night
surely names from a william gibson novel…?
but here i am living it
im living a very strange dream
an olde guy looks back outta the mirror
my bass guitar lies in my room
bound n gagged in its case
ive smoked something very nice
(thanks d m)
tomorrow its monday
the other druids are gathering things
like strings n sticks n stuff
before santa barbara on tuesday night
well thats notta bad length blogg from a weary traveler
im gonna read tanglewreck by jeanette winterson
i’ll tell ya what i reckon

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