posted on July 4, 2008 at 9:38 pm

i listened to coldplay yessaday
i was at space junk 3 working on the c
when i said to tim
a whole lotta fiendss been saying gwynnies boy
been borrowing our groove…
the thunderous though diminutive lord of percussion
swung around in his chair
by some chance the album was lying on the floor of the studio
we bunged on the track “yes”
nothing so far…hmmm
we look at each other
uh oh
we gotta severe case of church-itis
or is that how he hasta sing when hes down low?
tims eyes were widening
good lord its like a cross between 2 of your melodies he said
as his voice goes up into his normal range its obviously young christopher
but when it sinks down its…its..its nevets yeblik
well there you go
did any one here ever hear this record where these guys took utmw
and set different words to it….was it shed seven…oh ha ha ha
now i have read a few reviews of coldplay where the c has been invoked
i never really thought it myself until i heard this
i mean, c’mon , if that aint me, then blow me down with a feather
look i dont mind em
i like some of their songs
i’m glad hes gotta bit of me in there at last
wait till you hear the churches new record
i imitate every great singer there is
all in the first line of the first song
i’m flattered and i’m happy
he can lay a million quid on me and i’ll be even happier
funny though aint it i said to timbo
this record which sounds not unlike us will get played everywhere
while our record which sounds not unlike us
will probably never get played nowhere
thats just the way it is
a station who flogs this song would never play us
and thats just the way it is
and we have mega fans in high places
and they cant help us
and thats just the way it is
i see people asking why we never played a peel session
peel didnt like us one bit
and thats just the way it is too
its too late now
we are old and obscure
our last hit was 20 years ago
our only hit was twenty years ago
there are no “shoulds” in rocknroll
theres only the fickle finger of fate
the ebb n flow of popularity that no one may track
lets never forget this
i fucked it all up for myself
take a deep breath
and say
(it may be hard to …but do it)
steve fucked it up for himself
there…lets get it out there in the open
gold avo fix was an ok album
when what we needed a decider…
we shoulda given em priest =aura next
but i lost focus
i lost concentration
i was duplicitous
i was too caught up in arguing and theorizing
i was arrogant and pig headed
i just went along with stupid ideas
i let people who didnt understand run the show
and finally i got into the gear
which exacerbated everything a 100%
i had my chance
how many chances you think they give out?
i had my chance and i severely n thoroughly blue it
none of this has much to do with actual music per se
gaf was mediocre
priest was a towering masterpiece
you want the “big music”?
you want wide screen wall to wall rock?
of course the idiots at the time hated it
funny enough people say to me edder veddie likes the church
and grave dohl too
two of grunges leading lights
people say radiohead too
hey im sure they listened to all the guitar bands just like us
i try n sing like a mixture of johnny winston o boogie
and louis reid and david jones and bobby z and these days
nevets yeblik coming to the fore
i dont begrudge coldplay their dew
hes a talented bloke aint he?
hes a good n proper singer aint he?
yellow was good wasnt it? i liked it n so did the doodles
reserve your ire for the truly worthless
(insert their names here)
(i dont dare in case i meet em)
im gonna end on another case of instant fucking karma
im standing there checking out at the hoity toity hotel in melb
a mate of mine was checking out too
no party for you olde bean ..he asked through his hangover
nah i said i didnt wanna get stuck talking to….
my mate filled in the sentence for me:
…some awful biz type like…um…roger kaputnick..ha ha!
oh yes roger kaputnick! i laughed tho i had never met roger at all
we both had a good laugh
roger fucking kaputnick ha ha ha oh tee hee hee!
i stride across the foyer
a man approacheth me its…no..why..its..
oh..ah hello roger….
steve? i just wanted to say you were really the bees knees last night..!
he shook my hand warmly and walked away
damn! when will i ever learn..
my hungover mate lost ‘is bloody mobile phone…aawwww!
guess who found it n returned it to him?
roger kaputnick!
thats right
how did you think i felt then?

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