posted on August 29, 2007 at 2:13 am

busy being nothing
wasted on pleasures excesses
some power animates me still
the sea is cold and clean today
i swim through the water unfeeling
i do my qi gong
i feel the air move round my body
i expel my breath carefully
i vaguely touch the invisible source of power
the ocean is more beautiful
than all the pictures ever painted put together
refusing no river
accepting the rain patiently
its mysteries are deep
it reveals them ever so slowly
they say vishnu lies in the causal ocean
as he sleeps the goddess of fortune watches over him
whole universes emerge from his pores
as he dreams everything up
dreaming dreaming dreaming everything up
into each thing a tiny tiny drop of spirit
the spirit which can divide itself like a flame
it can give and give and never be exhausted
oh lord you are so around us everywhere
that like fish in the ocean
we cease to be aware of you
i care not
for people who
never having prayed
say that you never answer prayers
you have always answered mine
i care not
for those who have never meditated
who say
there is nothing out there
for those who have not striven in yoga
who say
there is no union
for those
never submerged in your sweet service
who say
there is no one to serve
o vishnu
to walk and talk with you
ah vishnuloka
your abode
i imagine myself in some eternal twilight
the tulsi flowers
the lotus
birds sing evensong
a flute in the distance
and women singing
a song about all songs
their voices chime like bells
and sustain like a fender guitar
the jungle all around us
the indian night
how i have longed for this everlasting twilight
all my lives have dazzled me
i have been burnt by lifes fire and old flames
mistake upon mistake
life afterlife
now in the fullness of time
after everything has taken place
when all that might happen happened
i find myself here in this wild garden
dressed in fine clothes
perfect temperature
and the warm evening breeze
carries all lovely scents
as you smell them
a million memories come to you
memories of deliciously lovely things
you gathered from your lives
memories of white snow and yellow sand
memories of underwater light playing on green rocks
memories of familiar music
memories of memories
now so faded away and thin
like a gossamer veil
you can look straight thru
and you see
the first time someone told you they loved you
on some warm lovely night like this
someone took your hand
and whispered the soft words of love
someone kissed your forehead tenderly
and sighed in the falling night
and you got the strangest feeling
a dizzy elation
a fulfillment
a deep hit in your heart
but that hit o vishnu
is as nothing compared to
the love that made you dream it all up
the love that caused life
as you set everything vibrating
as you put the planets on their courses
as you figured it all out in a flash
an interlocking everlasting work of art
this whole trip……even im almost speechless
all art is to glorify you
all music is to glorify you
and who are we
but you as well
each in a form they have devised
each in a life they deserve
for if you do not deserve your life….then who does?
each coming back again and again
one more
two more
oops three more
thousand times again
i have at last turned a corner at least
sk will just be a thread in ttbs coat of many colours
just there
that little piece
you can hardly see it
along with the countless others
each essential thread of life
to sew these garments i will one day take on
kilbey is a day in a classroom
kilbey is a moment in a game
kilbey is hay in a needlestack
kilbey is a cloud on a huge sky
kilbey is a smile
kilbey is one tear in a river of grief
kilbey is just one more
one of the passing parade
the kings and fools
the stars and the freaks
the mighty and the maggots
kilbey is a note in a symphony
kilbey is a small stone by the side of a highway
kilbey is just here and now
kilbey a while longer maybe…
when this kilbeysuit falls apart
o who will i be then, my dear lord?
let me not forget
the lessons i should have learnt as kilbey
let me retain
let me go on
let me speak with you
its enough

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