good morning you crazy fiendss
well actually its the afternoon
guess where yer humble hero is right now?
no not either of those poxy i/net caffs
nope
not the conveniemce store neither
im in the sumptuous cool interior
of the karmic hit guest facilities
which the ceo jlk has flipped me the keys to
(oh no, i ended a sentence on a preposition)
so here i am surrounded by silent plasmas
and huge inset aquariums
with siamese fighters and angelfish
my my jlk what an elegant
but very zen
touch
the kh secretaries hovering round
bringing me soy hot chocks
and oiling and supplicating at my feet
my gold records line the wall
in all the offices around
the fax machines whirr and hum
movers and shakers lurk
clocks spitting seconds into the rooms
a view to dye four
you know the schtory, my fiendss
my restless creatures
my secretive vampires
my bloggfriends
coming thru the mirror
stay with me tonite
i had a meeting with a big important guy today
a powerful druid in the bizz, you see
he wants to help us help ourselves
wow
but fiendss
this guy is a very nice manne
he seems straight up
he says
i met so and so
from such and such
(fiendss insert vip names in here)
AND
i met so and so
from such and such
(fiendss, even more vip names here)
and i meet loads of big wigs
all over the worrld
and guessa what
they all love yer band….

so yer humble olde genius feeling v optimistic
about ye olde future
its funny fiendies
i meet a lotta people backstage
most of em
are docktors
lawyers
professors
big shots of some kind
i dunno
and i always say
howcome you guys like us
they always say
well who else is there except radioheady
ya know theyre right
if you got some brains up there
if you got some discernment
and ya like rock
what else do ya have these days
i know iknow
there ARE loads of good, nay, great
bands and people
i just listened to lambs “gabriel”
about 5 times in a row
cos one time is not enuff
for yer heart to extract all the loveliness
contained within this song
no no
yer right
there are good things
i guess
i dunno if the bads getting worse
or what…?
anyway
im really happy that we are appealing to academia baby
thats fine
we just need a few bricklayers
and a few plumbers
actually i dont care what you do
fer yer livin’
as long as its vaguely honourable
and it aint grindin one of my fiendss down
as long as yer donatin 15 %
to the sjk institute
for research into electric guitars
do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
talking of al crowley
didnt you lot get yer knickers in a twist
over yon magician
pretty good to be still raising
such a furore
seeing it was all nearly hundred years ago
i believe al was a good guy
and a bad guy
just like yer lowly scribe
he was capable of both
just like everybody
even you
but jesus
give me a million of him
rather than one fuckin cheney blair or pm worm
cmon
havent ya ever wanted to do magic ?
oh yeah
so have i
i saw mwp levitate a crowd in dublin once
with only a 12 string geetar
and a fuzz box
izzat magic
oh boy
i bet you wish i would spill the beans on my occult connexions
the mysterious rites i have attended
the beings that we invoked
im sorry my fiendss
im sworn to secrecy on that one
they gonna kill the ones who blabbe
on a blogge
no worries about that
youll pick up paper
olde rocker found
babbling and naked
inside pentagram
you dont fool with these people
theyll have you green
and eating flies
theyll bugger yer crops
and make yer kidss go crosseyed
so if yer get invited to a coven
or yer taking part in some heathen ceremony
turn off yer mobile you goose
and dont get caught taking any pictures
or
youll be hopping home with a long tongue
so ok
ive seen good magic
ive seen bad magic
ive heard tragic magic by traffic
(which is pretty goode too!)
ive had to do some disappearing acts
and ive soothed savage beasts
with music
(if that didnt work i used a tranq gun)
you cant just open up one of als books
and go
aha
childe sacrifices
etc
etc
you gotta dig the mannes style
understand the hilariously repressive
victorian
(read: “straight”)
times that he lived in
and the flamboyant and incendiary language
he was prone to use
yes smack got him in the end
that easily coulda been me
still could be
or even you little baby
cos yer born but yer not dead
many a slip twixt the cup n the lip
i dunno
i guess i think
underneath it all
(and some of ya take thingss far too literally)
al was onto some thing
but it aint my path
but id rather be a magician
than a musician
less rehearsals
less argy bargy
(except when they catch ya sacrificin’ bulls)
and better prospects
for early retirement
whatever whatever whatever
keep tuned
try to behave yerself
do something nice
bye bye bye
sk