posted on January 10, 2007 at 9:10 pm

good morning fiendss
another lovely day here in nth bondi
im feeling a little uncertain
about everything
the solid facts of my life
are temporary things
snatched away so easily by time
even time together
all taken by time
am i really the time being?
what does he mean by that?
time crashes all over me
i am ultrasensitive to time
on my wrist the tatoo “no time”
in case of emergency
no time
in truth
in good time
as i once wrote
and again
only time separates us from the grave
as soon as time runs out
i say
gimme more time
another day
one more day of sweet life
one more day in my lovers bed
one more day in the sunlight
more time in the limelight
more time for laughing
more time for being
more of the time for the being
yoga buys me time
qi gong buys me time
meditation buys me time
swimming takes time but still buys time
love buys me time
the following deplete time
drugs, booze, argy-bargy
gossip, telly, anxiety
at the end of my life
i will ask for another day
just one more sweet day
oh the people are all beautiful n interesting
how i envy them all
outside this infirmary
all the people with time
playing round within time
now im almost outside time
what would you give me….?
time for this
time for that
time to do this
to time to try that
days accelerate
nights shrink
i clutch at the fabric of my days
i panic as it rips
as a day i grasp
unravels the seams of time
the seems of time
the fates hold up our slender thread
snip snip snip
people falling to the left n right
why do you go on…? someone asks
how do you stop? i reply
what do you want? they ask again
time? can i have time?
money over time? they say
time is money i reply
when will it be moneytime though?
never ever again?
soon, son, soon
bills accumulate
the rent is due
the seasons change
the dreaded phone calls
the knocks at the door
an idiot rings me up and says
killer why dontcha just chill
cant he see im freezing here…?
months elongate unexpectedly
the new moon
womens courses flow
babies are born
people are married
grandparents pass away
everything in its place
for everything
term turn term
the term of his natural life
where is the natural in my life
lookin’ sharp in my flats but no naturals
fate turns it all on right at the end
tick tick but never tock
goes my olde kitchen clock
my ears ringing more than this time last year
and that was a scream
2007…im hanging on to ya
i might let a little bit of january go by…
to give me something to hold on to…
but im gonna dig in the brakes
around feb
the brakes n the breaks
scarlet kilbey waddles in the room
and when she leaves shes in high heels
the twillies are women n mothers
the doodles become teenagers
they blossom and move out n away
i clutch again at short straws
my breathing becomes laboured
feels like i can never get enough air
the words on pages blur
the names in my mind fade
never to be spoken again
my voice dry
and then….
and then
i ask myself
what did it all mean
my life as sk
was a day
in the life
of all my lives
all the events n places n people
just trivial unremembered playground incidents
the breakthrus n failures
so what
and johnny o boogie was right
there IS nothing to get hung about
resistance is futile
but futility is futile too, baybee
jesus says we could move mountains with faith
if we but knew how
buddha says chill killer n take the middle path
krishna says nothing that lives will ever truly die
bobby dylan says
when i am in the darkness why do you intrude?
davy blowie says
we dont dance much, we just ball n play
then we move around like tigers on vaseline
jimbo says
lost in a roman wilderness of pain
n all the children are insane
cs lewis says
in the last days of narnia….
you dont wanna read that yer favourite place was in its last days..
i mean i dont mind the decline of the roman empire but..
everybody says nostradamus this…..
end of days we living in now
no more popes
(good fucking riddance)
no more wars for a while
a golden age of peace
collision with wormwood
the pit opens
666 on yer forehead baybee or no service
whose side are ya on?
good or evil?
aslan or tash?
if you worship aslan but call him tash, what then?
why does aslan permit tash to exist?
and time
machine guns dripping with years
ya come
ya go
ya arrive
ya leave
steven, yer leavin’ say the doodles
n everyone laughs
n then
everyones gone
and the credits roll
i cant believe that was the last episode
i say to nk
as i turn off the screen with the clicker
and her chair is empty
theres no furniture
theres no walls

56 Responses to “i dont know …just where im going….”

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