1
a woman , an old foreign woman
pulled out in the road, double bay sydney
and crashed into my car
she wasnt looking
peter k who was passenger
wanted to call the cops
woman say
oh no dont call cops
please sir please
peter and her have a little argy bargy
which i cant hear due to roar of traffic
due to her thick accent
due to the fact im quite deaf
peter goes off to look for bitsa my car
in the road
and woman
starts promising me the moon
i give you any money
she starts producing documents
proving where she lives etc
she dont wanna lose her no claims bonus
or points off her licence
or maybe shes drunk
(or all of the above)
i say ok ok
the womans is crying and shaking
shes rabbitting on wildly and i cant make it out
peter comes back
should ring the cops he says
i decide to let lady off the hook
i pay you cash she says
gives me her phone #
i’ll ring ya i say
shes shivering and shaking and sobbing
i actually take her hand
i reassure her
its ok go home
the next day i call her
gone is the heartbroken old lady of yessaday
in her place a fierce euro-vixen, tuff and streetsmart
you too late she says
you waited too long she says
i was working all day i say
too late too late! she crows
shes harsh and triumphant
you get my details go to nrma(insurers)
haff a nice day
and hangs up
i cant be bothered chasing her or it up
fuck it
leave it to karma
2 someone asked me to do something
i said a half hearted yes
in the meantime i was bombarded with emails
and catalogs of their “product”
the someone used my name to get ins with other people
that i knew or had known
and ceaselessy went on and on about the damn thing
no no
you should go on about things when theyre done
not before they even start
and
im angry
that someone would think
because i agreed
that means they get the ok
to call up others ive worked with
i feel used
i feel its pushy
i feel its fucking uncool
then someone rings up my brother
demanding n cajoling for my phone number
(which he didnt get)
finally the last straw
a fucking email saying that in his friends opinion
if i were to sing over his music it would be as good as the church
(if not better)
that pissed me off
i was gonna do this thing eventually
but ive fucking had it with this bullshit
i politely decline in a private email
i say thats the end let it be
the someone threatens me
that he’ll email “everyone”
with my original email
where i agreed to do project
(big fucking deal)
and tried with various othermeans
to lay a guilt trip on me
then he emails my email address
all over the internet
so i have to suffer seeing the replies
as people respond
or whatever
i said let it be
i said stop
why couldnt you?
another email giving me a deadline date to do it by
or to say no
i already said no
i dont say it twice
unless you are as deaf as me
now what?
who cares
it just irks me
that
i tried to be nice
and i end up with this
3
often
being a songwriter and blogger etc
people make the mistake
of thinking
the things i write
are
about them
for them
to them
whatever
then
they get mad if i dont respond to their trip
i have had this at least a hundred times
but you sang this
you wrote that
sorry
thats what i do
i write stuff thats supposed to mean something to you
thats one of a writers devices
its amazing when its pulled off
16 year old kilbey discovers marc bolan
its like hes singing all this stuff just for me
except
im sane and reasonable enough to know he didnt
how could he?
have you seen that john lennon movie
where the dutch hippy is saying
but man you wrote all those songs to me
and lennons going
oh no not again
ok
that brings us to me
and some deleted comments
and my decision to have no more anons
for a while
someone once worked for us
over a quarter of a century ago
that person had a sibling
i vaguely remember them
i might have said hello or even chatted for a few minutes
years later said sibling shows up
asks my brother for my email address
can i give it? he says
oh yeah i know that person its ok (i guess)
i had intended to maybe catch up and have a cuppa tea
next time i was in their city
then begins
a torrent of emails
i had written this or that
we were or are or should be lovers says person
no thanks says i
i didnt write that to or for or about you
and
i love my wife very much
im not interested
then comes abusive emails
abusive comments by “friends”
all implying i have somehow left this lady in the lurch
what?!
we are virtually strangers
i have tempered my view of all this
because i was just trying to do the right thing
let someone down kinda gently
i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings
i understand how people could get the wrong idea
but
the emails continue
all kinds of stuff
again n again
i write back
please
no thanks
you got the wrong guy..
again
abuse emails
saying thats it goodbye
then the other ones start up
as if nothing happened
today i write final email
from now on your name will send it to my spam filter
leave me alone
this is delusional behaviour
thats the end
and
it starts up on my comments
so
there you go
if the people concerned read this
how sad that it got to this
why couldnt ya let it go
anyway
now they all know
i get real real mad tho
when people try n muckrake my family into this
then i really am the killer
dont ever ever ever
try n hurt my family!
and that
is fucking that!