posted on April 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm

there are many types of goose-balls
but this is outside the scope of this arti-kel
there are many types of trees
there are flying fish whose wings both swim n fly
there are cheetahs who can run at 70 mph
there are winged monkeys
there are mastodons of industry
there are the new collapsing buildings
there are men who breathe under air
there are 5 moons in the sky and a dark sun
how many words am i holding up?
what was the date of your 1st date?
i descend down into nonsense
somewhere in here is the new blogs thread
i wade through the one billion sentences my mind has ready
should i be in need of more nonsense
just lately
i been wondering about nonsense
when i started reading the bible again there
or am i an idiot?
gee i remember all those ranking idiots
i remember a kid at school called jeff hurst
could rank all the idiots in their correct order
actually idiot was at the top of the list
at school these words were freely bandied about
especially in card games:
you moron kilbey you could have used the king…!
hes not a moron hes a cretin!
much laughter
the morons and imbeciles seemed to have faded
the cretins are long gone
i called one of my kids a cretin recently
but they had to ask me what it meant
and then had a good chuckle
as i tried to remember the old lyneham high ranking
imbecile is such a great word
it was used freely in the three stooges by moe
followed by a two finger eye jab
which made a funny popping sound
at dapto primary the 2 finger eye jab caught on
but no one could get it to make that funny popping sound
even idiot has so many sub catty gories ie
the quite common “stupid idiot”
the old fashioned ” bloody idiot”
the personal “you idiot!”
the exclaimed “whattan idiot!”
the ageist extremes “young idiot n old idiot”
the sizeist “little idiot n big idiot”
the rude “fucking idiot” which is
probably my favourite
and a way i think affectionately about myself
i sit here n eat some bread pudding
my mother made it for me
its like bread and dried fruit gone all cooked
crusty on outside
kinda moist n delicious on inside
not to be mistaken with bread n butter pudding
not to be mistaken for apple n rhubarb crumble
in america they have peach cobblers
(in uk cobblers is slang word for the testicles)
i remember first time someone asked me if i liked peach cobblers
me : huh?
i have met some “real idiots” in my day
and yes it really takes one to know one
i saw a haughty girl walk into a pole
i saw a proud man lose his pants
i saw children being spoiled by parents
i saw children being beaten by parents
i saw 1950s mutton dressed up as 1960s lamb
i saw man land on the moon
voice in a nother room : or did he land in a studio in california…
i saw vandals n widgies n sharpies n skins
i saw bullies n bitches n bastards n buffoons
i saw sods n fools n floozies n boozers
hey they still making some good idiots now
i havent caught up on them so much
but tv n radio personalities are up there
idiotically speaking
with any of the bozos n turkeys from “my” day
“total idiots”
youd put george bush in there wouldnt you?
he just has got all points covered
tho they say his iq is quite high
but so is mine
so theres 2 reasons to disbelieve in iq tests
but i must be an idiot to think bush is an idiot
actually hes a great guy
he really cared about us n so did his friend dick
they loved us the people
and they tried so hard to protect us from ourselves
and they tried to smoke out those terro-ist idiots
but theres just too much evil to clean up
what with war on drugs
war on terror
but no war on making levees for new orleans
no war on povery n complicated expensive legal n medical system
we/you musta been idiots voting for him (twice!?)
well actually once
the second time
cos like the first time
some idiot manipulated some idiotic system
and the guy who got the most votes…er…lost…
now call me an idiot again…but aint that stupid?
no actually
i cant get over it
the way that all justice is so easily perverted
we must all be idiots really
we stand by
watch each new idiot get it wrong…
how hard can it be to not be an idiot?
rocknroll has loads of idiots too
almost anyone singing about satan or death n putrefaction
boy bands are generally required to be idiots
the olde geezer with the hat i consider quite an idiot
g n r seemed quite an assortment of them too
all those glam heavy bands
vince neil …”classic idiot’
the guys in poison : idiots thru n thru
whitesnake iron maiden leppard sabbath
many an idiot amongst em
the sweet
gary glitter
rick astley
duran duran
new romantics
boy george
milli vanilli
oh god
the liszt goes on n on non
us idiots
weve penetrated every echelon of society
idiot security guys
idiot air stewards
idiots coppers
idiot thieves
idiot husbands n wives
idiot neighbours
idiot weathermen
idiot drivers
idiot wind
and idiots anonymous
are you an idiot?
be truthful now
theres a little idiot in all of us

31 Responses to “idiots guide to idiots by an idiot”

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