posted on October 19, 2008 at 8:06 pm

youd be much smarter
youd know what to do
shave off that beard
get some decent clothes
get rid of all those wrinkles
do some commercial stuff
some more modern/classic stuff
act my age but get younger
be nicer to people but get what i want
you wouldnt be obsessed with money honey
itd all just flow in without even trying
youd knock out a few more utmw’s
youd do more charity stuff
tour more in england n got millions of fans
youd write a perfect fucking blogge everyday
one full of hope blessings humour and poignancy
youd be warm open loving
but youd know where to draw the line
youd give up smokin’ dope…just like that
and my oh my
youd never have fallen for heroin or any of that
youd have a good manager
one that cared bout ya
n believed in ya
n never ripped you off because youre a little naive
youd expect the best from people just like i do
but youd actually get it
youd raise yer kids so they all loved n respected everything holy here
youd do yoga 3 times a day and be a judo master
youd do your own books n taxes
and be totally au fait with all legalities
youd be a man for all seasons
equally at home with a gnarled old roadie
or some breathless kid doing their 1st recording session
youd be alert and calm
not over-cautious but not slack n lax either
your teeth would be white n straight
no freckles would blemish your skin
your hair would get thicker n thicker
youd be best friends with everyone with whom you crossed paths
no hard feelings
no regrets
no wondering how it might have been
youd still be on arista knocking out masterpieces that sold respectably
youd be good every night
youd never forget the words or be cranky
youd never be insipid or smirking or boring
beauty would never dazzle you nor ugliness repulse
you probably wouldnt fucking swear
you been interested in all other musicians n do yer best to help em
you’d write a hit childrens book
youd be onstage at the opera house playing macbeth
youd never bitterly laugh at more successful less worthy singers
youd never get angry n despondent n thrash about
youd never flounder….youd always swim like the dolphins can swim
youd invest all yer money wisely
youd own homes in aust,eng,us n sverige
god your swedish would be perfect by now
n youd have a green card
and a carte blanche
and a black beemer
and a clean record
and a new leaf
youd never need advice
but if you got it
youd know whether to take it or not
youd trust the right people n never get let down
youd mistrust the right people n always be proved right
no mistakes
no blunders
no lapses of taste
no bad rhymes
no false starts
no bum notes
no parking tickets
no fear
youd be a bloody masterpiece
oh god i wish i was you being me
and one other thing youd never do
if you were me
youd never blab it all out on a blog
like i do

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