the brutal morning of winter interpenetrated from all angles

swan of days gliding in lake of years

at the height of my powers yet i shrink from my selves

the bed rejects me with me cold dry skin

slivers of glass plague my feet all night

some genie has engulfed the room with its own madness

some ambassador from elsewhere has dropped in while i slept

and the miserable bleeding rain in the green garden

tapping dimly on window like a gentle old friend

messages that fade from your mind

feelings that fade from your fingers

jump in a cab

jump on a plane

jump in another cab

jump into a hotel in a city of fogs and cloud

jump into my room on the 13th floor

the stupid painting on the wall of a sunny spanish vista

sits ill in the still blackness of afternoon within the suite

the blank white verses of unsung song linger herein

the powder hits the water and dissolves

the surge of some old famous guy

the bad connection has distorted my face

the sudden irresistible sleepiness that crawls down the wall

the striped traffic shadows escaping through the broken blind

emptiness pours in and in and in

tonight they hand me my guitar and i take a bow

the music is sweet and sick i am unashamedly resolute

occultish energy hurls me around a crowded stage

the words fall out of nowhere

the lines line up to be admitted and processed

i sing to the waiters and the cashiers

i sing to the cleaners and the door bitches

i sing to the parking attendant and yesterdays bar staff

i sing to the couriers and the people who snuck in before

in every note i feel the past and future resonating in my hands

all the shots i had had in one life

bang! we crash into a mountain

bang! we fall down with a hit

enticed by the vein of silver

i have wandered out into audiences amazed

the quotes from the bible go down hellishly well

the brooks and the rivers that run through nightclubs

teeming with piranhas and constrictors..!

sometimes i am lost in my own thoughts

out there the spotlight has shone through my eyes

illuminating a dense spirit that groans at the exposure

my energy discharged

i am led away to be suckled by the faint faith of praise

in secret rooms we are herded along with the crowds who push in

who is that talking out of my mouth i vaguely wonder

back at the hotel

some people come over to talk and take more stuff

the tv comes on and they all start yelling

some unpopular singer they all shout down

the rain falls

the cars go by below incessantly

the deals are stitched up

someone coughs up some more money

someone leaves and returns

someone has another fucking drink

and someone has another fucking argument

in my room the noise abates somewhat though as if muffled

i am between my mind and my body somewhere

not in the present where i am not nor ever will be

regret and remorse and reneging on all promise ever shown

my dreams are blown up in woozy enlargements

projected against the dining wall brain of my mind

already scored the music is scraps of old songs

stitched together with a little effort by fevered life

something outside all of my experiential domain

crown the night with a diseased looking moon

it glows feebly on in the nimbus heaven overhead