posted on November 30, 2007 at 1:10 am

last night i awoke to a pain
an agony
my left ear throb throb throb
blocked
cant hear anything
get up look on net for ear remedies
garlic and olive oil it says
i feverishly crush up garlic
mix with olive oil
pour in my ear
i dunno if it made things better
go to ye olde quack this morning
jesus you stink he says
he syringes my ear
and i jump twenty feet in the air
as a horrible mixture of pus olive oil and garlic comes out
sorry i says
youre sorry he says
i gotta stay in here all day with this garlic smell
he looks in my ear again
lucky you came to see me he says
or you woulda lost yer eardrum by tonight…
its a mess he adds
how can things go wrong so fast?
you should see an ear specialist says quack
but take these antibioticks and lets see ya on monday
if not better then
its the specialist…
so im sitting here
the tinitus in blocked ear is ringing like big ben
oh oh the mofo hurts
oh deep deep pain
much worse than a broken arm
i mean theres pain ya can deal with
and theres pain that fuckin’ drives you up the wall
this earache…..
my lovely wife up and running round in the middle of night
all worried about me
i’m all at sea
moaning and carrying on
anyway
come home from the docs
he says to take a shower
wash the ear out again
then take penicillin and eardrops and my painkillers
so i take off my clothes
getting ready for shower
nk appears
anything else the doctor says i can do for you
yeah yeah
i say
he says you gotta help me relieve the pressure
what pressure she says
all the pressure building up here i say
and i point
but not at my ear
hmmmm she says
you cant be that sick, can you?
well dear wife
i think i just should do anything
that ll get me mind off me ear…
uh huh
i love these alternative treatments….

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